Untangling The Meanings Behind Polyamory, Polygamy, And Swinging
lunes, 19 de junio de 2017 8:56|Josue Brocca
We've been raised to believe that only one person will make us happy for the rest of our lives. But this can feel as if we're restricting ourselves from many experiences and not going through life exactly as we would like to. We convince ourselves that what society says we should follow is the best for us, despite our emotions and desires. It's common to feel attraction for more than one person. Sure, meeting a person who you can spend the rest of your life with is a beautiful experience, but the fact that it works for you doesn't mean it should work for everyone in the world. Our lives are individual experiences.
There's no rule in life that restricts you to having only one romantic or sexual partner. You should first ask yourself if the life model you're following is one that can truly secure your happiness. There are other ways you can fill both your romantic and sexual needs. You just need to find the one that fits. Nevertheless, since we're not accustomed to viewing things this way, we tend to confuse the terms with which people who live non-monogamously describe themselves. And how can we know something is for us if we barely know what it is?
The word "polyamory" comes from the Latin roots poly ("many") and amor ("love"). Hence its meaning is self-explanatory. It refers to the people who lead more than one romantic relationship with the support and consent of all the other parts involved. Even though it has been frowned upon throughout recent centuries, polyamory has proven to be, in many ways, much healthier than classic monogamous relationships. For example, they're very good at maintaining contact after breaking up, establishing wide and supportive social environments, and they're better at communicating their issues. Polyamorous families can be really large, and just like a traditional couple, they build homes and raise children. Naturally, living under the poly model sounds idyllic, but it clearly comes with certain problems: it's even more difficult than living as a couple, and there's still a lot of stigma towards this lifestyle.
Polygamy is defined as the practice of one person having more than one spouse at the same time. It can be divided in two different types: polygyny and polyandry. Today, the countries in the world where polygamy is practiced the most are located in Africa and the Middle East, mostly in Arab cultures. Due to the fact that marriage is a prerequisite of living in a polygamous culture, it's impossible to practice it without the legal support of an institution that avails the marriage. Polygamy isn't allowed in most Western countries. However, certain communities —such as Muslims and Mormons— practice it in secret.
Last, but not least, swingers are couples who have a monogamous relationship, but allow each other to have sex with other people. They're also commonly referred to as "open relationships". This seems like having the best of both worlds: being single and in a relationship. Still, this practice should also come with responsibility. To make swinging work, it's necessary to establish ground rules, being trustful, and taking care of both parties' sexual health. Swinging also depends on choosing carefully their external sexual partners and being communicative. However, swingers don't take all of their sexual encounters to a sentimental level. This keeps their own relationship as a priority. Swinger couples are sometimes also keen into experimenting together with other people, sometimes engaging in orgies and threesomes. Therefore, the swinging lifestyle can be one that leads to lots of sexual pleasure, but you need to practice it with responsibility.
Would you like to live under any of these arrangements? Which one would it be?
Perhaps, you're currently unhappy with the way your monogamous relationship panned out. Read about the 7 letter word that ends your relationship. Don't miss either the stark evolution of orgasm and why we should be living in the era of ecstasy.
Kat Irlin (kat_in_nyc)