How do you love? You’ll never know if you don’t try. Tell your crush how you feel, whether it’s through a book, a song, or an old-fashioned declaration.
Ever felt like you’re on the wrong side of love? When we’re in a romantic rut it can seem like everyone else is in a relationship except for us. We start to wonder whether there’ll ever be someone who will awaken our senses through an emotional connection. Then one day, out of nowhere, someone shows up in your class, work, even your apartment building. They seem nice enough but you still try to keep your distance, afraid that you’ll be disappointed or let down. But when they start talking to you out of the blue, it’s as if someone moved the off-switch button deep in your chest.
Still, even when you’ve already convinced yourself that despite your fears and doubts, this person is worth the risk of heartbreak and disaster, you wonder how you can open your soul to them without scaring them away or just dying of pure embarrassment. Perhaps the best thing to do is to provide them with a hint or a sign that they might see as your declaration of interest in getting to know them on a more personal level.
Well, loaning a book can be a good idea. You could remember something you spoke about in conversation and recommend a book. But if you have that book on hand, you can offer it for them to borrow, which guarantees the two of you meeting up, talking, or hanging out in a different scenario as you usually would.
But let’s add an extra element to this not-so-subtle message. What if the book you give them can be a little hint regarding what could happen if both of you got together? What if it’s about moving on from situations that are holding you back, be it continuing to have contact with exes or just fear of commitment? These books are all great reading choices but also help as would-be wing-persons that can help seal the deal with the person making your heart beat like a conga line.
The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion
“Humans often fail to see what is close to them and obvious to others."
What happens when the two people, who seem to have nothing in common, are just what they both need? As one scientist tries to find the best equation for an ideal partner, he comes across a woman who fits none of his descriptions and is on a quest of her own. Give this to your crush if you want them to realize that nothing is perfect or planned, but if it’s meant to be it all eventually comes together.
Milk and Honey by Rupi Kaur
“i want to have you
cause the two of
it on fire”
How do you begin again when all the pain from your past keeps you holding on to ghosts? If you feel like what’s separating you and your crush is denial or fear of being hurt, give them this book so they’ll know that, despite all the horrible parts of life, passion is not something to run away from.
Juliet, Naked by Nick Hornby
“So it's not about what you do. It can't be, can it? It has to be about how you are, how you love, how you treat yourself and those around you, and that's where I get eaten up.”
This might not be the most optimistic offering on love and relationships, but instead, it’s catalogue of the different people we meet and connect to in life. A story about a music album, the musician who wrote it, and the people who love or hate it, is a map of the different moments in life we go to. It’s not all happiness and joy, but every now and then, there’s people and situations that make you believe that it’s all worth it in the end.
Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan
“I Wanna Hold Your Hand.' First single. Fucking brilliant. Perhaps the most fucking brilliant song ever written. Because they nailed it. That’s what everyone wants. Not 24-7 hot wet sex. Not a marriage that lasts a hundred years. Not a Porsche or a blow job or a million-dollar crib. No. They wanna hold your hand. They have a feeling that they can’t hide.”
If all you know about this story is based on the movie, you’re definitely missing out. While the film was a cute tale of two young music lovers coming together during one epic night, the book deals with all the inner hang-ups that keep its protagonists from trying or attempting to reach for a true connection. There’s the boundaries that we place on ourselves. There’s also the ideas we have regarding who we are. And there’s the expectations that exist when we believe we need to be someone else. Give this book to your crush to explain that neither one of you needs to change or become someone else to connect and love.
How do you love? You’ll never know if you don’t try. Tell your crush how you feel, whether it’s through a book, a text, a song, a poem, or an old-fashioned declaration. You’ll feel your chest getting lighter as you do. Regardless of what happens, you’ll know that life is not hopeless. We are all in a constant path towards a true connection, so go ahead. Love.
Pictures by Jessica Janae