Do you remember that episode of Friends when Ross goes on a date with one of his co-workers at the museum and she asks him to talk dirty to her? He mumbles and when she pressures him, the only thing “hot” he can come up with is “Um… uh… vulva.” I always think about this whenever someone refers to dirty talk or sexting because, to be honest, I think that’s exactly what would come to my mind if someone caught me off-guard. The thing with sexting is that there must be a moment and a way to engage with it. It’s not like just a random conversation. Moreover, since it’s, let’s say, a private and delicate activity, one must be good with the word choice, especially if you’re starting. So, let’s try to unveil the secrets behind the art of sexting to become a master in the field.
First of all, and kind of the most important one, it must be with someone you trust. Both of you must be on the same page. You don’t want to scare the other person or just come off as a creep. However, trust is essential. Remember that everything you send through a phone or a computer is going to be there forever, and it’s kind of easy to share that information. This isn’t only a rule for messages and texts. Nudes are included and are actually the riskiest.
Start subtly, just leaving a hint that you’re willing to sext. You don’t know if the other person is doing something important or even if their phone is visible to others. It would be kind of embarrassing if someone else sees what you’re sending. But besides the risk of someone seeing it, it’s also important to be subtle in case the other person is not really into it so you can save the situation if something doesn’t go according to plan.
Use your imagination, it’s all about imagery and creating the perfect fantasy. As Joey explains to Ross, the trick is voicing what you want to do with the other person or the other way around. But I think it goes beyond that. You don’t want just a graphic list of the things you’ll do. You must spice things up and create the perfect environment and a story to appeal to the drives of the person receiving the message.
Make sure that your texts end with an invitation to reply. Keep the story going and leave the other person intrigued. Most importantly, don’t give all the good stuff away on the first message. Creating expectation can definitely be the best aphrodisiac in the art of sexting. This counts not only for the mechanics of sexting, but also in terms of content. As it was mentioned before, think about the imagery, make the other shiver with anticipation.
Last, but definitely not least, keep it clean. I mean not in that sense, because this is actually a time to be dirty. What I mean is that sometimes engaging with this can make you get carried away and it’s kind of easy to just turn your words into offensive statements. Leave the shaming aside and don’t use derogatory words. You don’t want to kill the vibe like that. Respect, after all, can also boost many emotions.
Okay, I’m leaving before I continue sounding like my grandmother. Just bear in mind that while sexting can be a really great way to spice things up, as with any form of sexual intercourse you must think about safety first. If you want to know more about it, check these seven points. Now, if you’re looking for inspiration, I really recommend looking at these erotic letters.
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Images by @philchester
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