They say hell is paved with good intentions. They’re wrong, it’s paved with expectations.
If you ask me what’s the biggest relationship killer, i’ll tell you it’s the same thing. Expectations are a compass that guide you to paths you desire, but if they’re skewered they’ll lead you to places that are dark and incredibly lonely. These black and white illustrations perfectly encapsulate the moment you realize the relationship you built is smoke and mirrors and that you’re alone with your heartbreak.
It’s easy to go on self-destruction mode when you’re heartbroken, you begin to cut ties with those you love and you wish to go deeper into your loneliness in the hopes that someone will wrench you back to reality. It is in those moments of self pity that you realize two things: you are alone, but not in the ways you imagined, and secondly, you yourself built that road, which led to this heartbreak. The former relates to the fact that you are alone but have the power to build ties that endure and are nurturing. The latter is that by willfully following these false expectations you dragged yourself to an emotional place that is destructive. So how do you get out? Is there a way out of heartbreak and the Failed Relationships Cemetery?
“You have to meet someone else, that’s the only way you will really forget and move on.” When I was stuck in that cemetery, wallowing in my past failures, I decided to invite someone into the mess and it made it even worse because they didn’t know the baggage I was carrying, and soon enough they too were six feet under. I realized that I had to find my own way out and to find power in the things I believed in. Once I knew my inner core, my inner beliefs were bullet proof then I was ready to invite someone to this journey next to me.
Life goes on and you eventually catch up to it. Thorny questions you used to avoid like “what’s wrong with me?” now form part of your life and they tell you which paths you should take. Don’t let expectations and those of others pinpoint the direction your heart should take, but rather those precious lessons you learnt during failure.
And you know what? After days, weeks, and months of grief I realized that I will never love the same way, each love is different and every relationship left a precious gem behind. So, yes go through the grief and the pain but just bear in mind that they won’t last forever.
I’m broken inside but so are you, and if we are a tiny bit cynical there’s nothing wrong with that, it’ll keep us sane.
These images were created by Australian artist, writer, and filmmaker Ellehel. If you want to see more of her work, take a look at her Instagram profile: @ellehell