Blunt, candid, salacious, politically incorrect, sarcastic, and polemical are adjectives that perfectly describe comedy legend Joan Rivers. But these are just some characteristics of her unique sense of humor; her legacy went beyond that. She was a trailblazing comedian who changed the game for women in the industry. She was one of the first who dared to challenge humor and society’s norms about womanhood with her sassy jokes and bubbly personality.
At a time when people have developed even thinner skins, a character like Joan Rivers is definitely missed and needed. Yes, she might’ve gone too far in some cases, and yes, you could even say that she was mean to some people, but at the end of the day, as she used to say, it’s only through humor that most of us are able to sort out life, and she was a great example of it herself.
So, today, five years after her sad departure, we’re here to remember a woman who was an expert at finding humor in basically anything, even herself, her favorite subject.
Menopause:
“My mother had said to me, Joan, when you’re 60 years old and you’re going through menopause, yes, your vagina will drop. But it’s a good thing because you can wipe your forehead with it.”
On being unattractive:
“When I was born the doctor looked at me and looked at the afterbirth, and handed my mother the afterbirth.”
Exercise:
“I exercise. Well, I don’t EXERCISE, I’m Jewish. If you want me to bend over, you put diamonds on the floor.”
Dry spell:
“Oh, don’t be kind. I mean, I was ugly as a child, I was ugly as a teenager, and I’m a puke now. That’s why my sex life is so bad. My husband says he won’t touch me for religious reasons. He’s Jewish and I’m a pig.”
One-night stands:
“The only good thing about older dating […] is there are no one-night stands. Just to get the old guy out of the car, into the house, up the stairs, on you, off of you, re-diapered, back in the car… four days, FOUR DAYS! It’s a relationship!”
Hello and goodbye:
“You can’t say orgasm, you can’t say condom, you can’t say breast, you can’t say sex. What are you going to say? I said, hello and goodbye.”
Abortion:
“I fly all the time. You know how often you say funny things. So, I wrote that I hate children on planes because I hate children on planes. Oh, if abortion were retroactive.”
Sex appeal:
“I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life. Peeping Toms look through my window to pull down the shade. You have no idea. My gynecologist exams me by telephone.“
Having a twin:
“I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I’d look like without plastic surgery. The image of her tightly stretched face could be shown to death-row inmates to get their minds off women.”
Crashing glass:
“If you hear the sound of crashing glass, it’s just my vagina dropping on the floor.”
Photos from @joanrivers
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