There is nothing much you can do when you break up with your significant other, perhaps, the best solution is to give yourself the freedom to suffer the loss of a loved one. In the grieving process, you begin by going through all the mistakes you made, and wish for a way to travel back in time to undo them. You feel as if everything has gone downhill, your plans, dreams and you blame yourself for your failed relationship.
Your friends, in an attempt to comfort you mumble the corniest of lines,“There are plenty more fish in the sea,” and all you want to say is, “I don’t want the fish in the sea, I want the one who left.” Deep down you know they’re right, but it hurts to hear them. There comes a moment when you simply have had enough, your patience is wearing thin, and if you hear one more time “it was bound to happen,” or “nothing lasts forever,” you’ll explode. They only see the surface, they are missing the hurricane of emotions you are bottling up.
You get lonely even when you’re in a room full of people. You seem to only focus on the pain, and you barely enjoy the conversations you are trying to form part of. Your mind is still circling over the kisses you never exchanged, the jokes you laughed at, and the movies you never saw together. Now more than ever, you’re faced with your solitude and you admit to yourself it is time to start rebuilding your shattered heart.
It is not going to be easy, your mind will play tricks on you, especially at night. You can’t do anything but feel the pain, and try to learn to live with the memories you have of your time together. Because even if you wanted to erase them, just like Clementine did in Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, you wouldn’t do it. We share these six steps for you to fall out of love…
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1. Accept you loved them, accept it had to finish someday
Sometimes your partner needs time and space; nevertheless, there are times when love has run out, and there nothing you do will save it. You should accept its end, even when that person still takes your breath away. Living with the illusion of getting back together will keep you from enjoying the few good moments you can have.
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2. Talk to someone
The best way to get over a relationship is by talking about it. Giving a voice to your emotions will help you ease your heart, otherwise, the words that you couldn’t tell them will haunt you forever. If you find it difficult to talk about your feelings, the best thing to do is not shut them down. You can still say how you feel by writing a letter to that person. Written words, sometimes, run more smoothly than spoken ones.
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3. Give yourself the chance to feel the pain
As kids, adults always warned us to be careful, brave, and to never cry. They failed to teach us about broken hearts, a lesson that only happens with experience. Cry as much as you want and scream if you have to. Do whatever you need to do to feel better, there is a unique kind of bravery found in those who don’t fear letting others see their pain.
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4. Don’t torture yourself
Stop reliving the memories you built together, each time you do it you are only hurting yourself. You will have to fight the urge to call them, but eventually this will be a wise decision; otherwise, you’re risking hearing something you don’t want to. Remember the saying, don’t ask questions if you don’t want to hear the answer.
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5. Give yourself time to heal
You’ve reach a critical point in the journey of overcoming a relationship. You have ceased to cry, and yet, you’re still not ready to start dating. Instead of starting to jump from relationship to relationship, give yourself the time to enjoy your company.
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6. Keep yourself busy
If you find yourself thinking about that person again, try to keep busy. Experimenting with activities you never tried before is a good way to keep your mind from wading into to a hurtful place. You can read a book or start a new project with your friends. As a result, you’ll have new skills and you’ll foster your entrepreneurial spirit.
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Even though it may sound like a cliché, time heals all wounds. Just remember to breathe, cry, and scream if necessary. Don’t shut down, and let your friends tell you everything will be OK. Yes, the scars are going to be permanent, but they will be a reminder of your strength. At the end everything gets better.
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You might want to read:
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8 Things To Do Instead of Falling in Love
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Illustrations For You To Experience The Journey Of Love
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10 Books That Are Bound to Teach You The Truth About Love
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11 Lessons You Only Learn When Love Flies Out The Window