Sometimes painkillers are not enough to take edge off the pain and depression hangs on her shoulders like a heavy shroud. Chemical cocktails knock her up and she is able to forget her reality for a little while at least. Scars mar her her face and body and you cannot help but wince when you take a glimpse at them. Still, they’re not as deep as those scars covering her heart and soul. Memories of her loved ones, of those who are no longer there, kill her slowly.
For all these reasons, Claire, the main character of Cake, is incapable of falling in love again.
Despite knowing that the cure for her condition is to find someone interesting, tender, and comforting, she denies herself the possibility of being happy and falling for someone again. For her, in order to avoid being hurt again she must remain silent and close her heart to any who approach her. In Claire’s situation, falling in love doesn’t consist only on meeting someone and surrendering her heart, but also finding the will to live and the excitement of being with the people who love her.
When love fades, it feels as if all doors close, but we forget something crucial: the keys to open them rest in our hands and it is our choice whether we use them or not. You’re not the only person feeling scared and doubtful after a breakup; falling in love again is as complicated as it is risky, but sometimes taking a chance can make you happy.
Are you ready to love again? Answer these questions and decide if you’re in the right place to open your heart.
13. Do you think you have the energy to try again? Are you and that new person capable of finding the balance needed to start a relationship?
12. Do you wish to share everything when you are with someone else? Would you mind sacrificing something you’ve achieved by yourself?
11. Do you feel confident about how you look and who you are?
10. Are you willing to trust in someone else and get emotionally involved with that person?
9. Do you agree that mistakes from the past should not affect your present or your next relationship?
8. Have you forgiven the person who hurt you in the past ? If you haven’t, what’s holding you back?
7. Do you want to fall in love in a sincere way without limiting your emotions?
6. Do you still feel something, whether positive or negative, for your last partner? If you do, what do you feel and how are you handling it?
5. Are you positively sure you’re not confusing loneliness with your will to fall in love?
4. What was the biggest lesson you learned in your previous relationship and how will you apply this in your new one? What would you do differently this time?
3. Have you stopped thinking that “all are the same”?
2. Are you capable of walking in someone else’s shoes to understand them and love them?
1. Are you willing to build again that which someone else once destroyed?
This is not a multiple choice questionnaire, it doesn’t matter how many A, B, or C’s you chose. The only thing you must do is to be honest with yourself when answering these questions. Once you’ve done it, you’ll need some time to meditate and see if what you’re looking for is within that person. If you do this honestly and correctly, you’ll be able to know for sure if you’re in the right moment to let yourself go or if the best thing would be to postpone the romantic game for now.
Translated by María Isabel Carrasco Cara Chards
