I hate when people say we must all work to be become our best selves. That motto, idea, belief, or whatever it is, is everywhere. Religion, society, media, family, friends, the Internet, constantly promote this. I get it. We must always be open to growth, but aren’t all those norms or rules just a cliché? If you think about it, all this advice is completely generic, as if we had to follow the same path as everybody else.
We grow up knowing there’s good and evil and that we must aspire to be good. There are innumerable treaties from different perspectives dealing with our humanity. You probably already know the most famous one: we’re all good by nature, but it’s society that corrupts us. It’s probably right. I mean, who am I to contradict such an important thinker like Rousseau? However, that idea of becoming our best self doesn’t only rely on the goodness of our soul, heart, or mind. It depends on your beliefs. Moreover, it’s a matter of your aspirations and personality, which, at the end of the day, are forced to comply with society’s norms. Who decides what’s best for us or how we should act?
Seriously, these things are filled with stereotypes and vain ideas that sell a life standard as if it were the biggest goal in life, when in fact we’re already our best version of ourselves. I’m not saying we shouldn’t aspire to be better and keep trying to grow as a person. It’s likely that we all have flaws that could be changed in accordance with our own expectations. I mean, nobody’s perfect. The thing is that we’re always trying so hard to fit into definitions and labels that we end up losing ourselves, our true essence.
Why do we love to compare ourselves or, better said, our success and path in life with that of others? Why do we always think so low about our achievements? If we think about it, we measure them in relation to what’s expected from us: having a degree, getting your first car, moving out from our parents’ home, being in a stable relationship, getting married, having kids, getting a promotion, and the list could go on infinitely. It’s not bad to aim for those things. Many of those things are pretty much in my life plans, but that doesn’t mean we must achieve them to consider ourselves successful.
Let’s go back to that idea of being our best self. Does that mean we’re not good enough? Are we mediocre if we don’t try to become the best? What if what I am now is my best and I spend the rest of my life pursuing something I’m not? That’s precisely my point. We’re always looking at the future, working hard to become either what we’ve always dreamt to be or something we’ve been told to be desirable. And the truth is that, as time goes by, I’m more certain that I’ve been wasting all my time trying to match those standards.
Yes, I’m not as “successful” as some of my closest friends. Perhaps I’ll never be. But as long as I’m happy with what I’m doing, that should be enough in my search for becoming my better self. Because that term we all love is nothing but a list of features society tells us to be. And frankly, I’m not wasting my best years in becoming just another one of the bunch. Life must be way more interesting than that.
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Images by @robtilbury
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Check these out:
How To Find Yourself And Other Insights On Life By Nietzsche
Why It Is Important To Love Yourself First Before Starting Loving Your Partner
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