What a time to be alive. Sexual liberation, birth control, and a newfound consciousness of power dynamics between the genders. It all seems like a great moment for modern men and women in which sex and relationships and love don’t necessarily have to come together in the same package.
This has been going on for a while, perhaps secretly forever, but we can agree that only recently did it become more accepted to admit most of us have sexual desires without not necessarily having marriage desires.
In other words, we can finally cherish no-strings-attached sex. This is certainly celebrated among young people, especially college students who often find themselves living without “proper” grown ups around and are therefore free to explore just about anything they can get away with. It’s also quite astonishing how much marriage has been delayed, if not cancelled altogether.
For instance, think about your parent’s age when they got married or had their first child versus how old you are, childless, and still going on Tinder dates. The latter sounds pretty tempting, actually, not that there’s anything wrong with how your parents decided to lead their lives, though.
However, perhaps it’s also time to admit there’s trouble in paradise. Having no-strings-attached sex fulfills sexual desire at that moment, and that may seem perfectly fine, especially for women who may experience it as a way to gain ground on the equality issue, at least regarding sex.
Hell, if men can have as many partners as they want, why shouldn’t women? Screw the double standard and enjoy safe sex that won’t get you pregnant. But is all of this really that great?
IPhoto by rawpixel on UnsplashAccording to Lisa Wade’s study, it turns out both men and women seem dissatisfied with casual sex, which leaves them yearning for an emotional connection even if they didn’t know they wanted it in the first place.
It’s really hard to have a physical relationship with someone and not develop any kind of feelings. You’d have to be made of stone not to feel anything after some time, and even when it comes to one-night-stands, I bet you’ve felt like it wasn’t all that great, anyway.
Regarding booty calls or friends with benefits, chances are sooner or later you won’t be on the same page, even if at first both of you thought you would have it under control. It’s nearly inevitable for one of you to expect more than the other, which is what eventually leads to complications, drama, and maybe even the end of a relationship.
I love no-strings-attached sex, booty calls, and friends with benefits as much as the next guy, but even I know it may be hard to stomach. It’s not necessarily for everybody, and if you feel like you need an emotional connection to someone for your mental health’s sake, then by all means, feel free to reject the new and exciting physical relationship. It won’t make you any less of a modern woman or man.
Photo by rawpixel on Unsplash
Sex should be a celebratory moment in any of its forms, not a college rite of passage, or a trend. Do it any way you want as long as it’s consensual and it feels right. But this “new” way of relating to one another isn’t necessarily the healthiest. So, think about what’s best for you regardless of what your friends, Sex and the City, and Tinder might tell you.
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