If you’re like Justin Bieber, then I will assume that you try, but you still do not do too well with apologies. Don’t be too hard on yourself, though. Expressing an apology is difficult. It involves a whole lot of courage to confront both yourself and the recipient of the apology. So, continue reading if you’d like to learn how to apologize properly.
First, let’s go through what it takes for you to confront yourself. Sometimes, after you’ve wronged somebody, you instantly regret it. Maybe you said something offensive and wish to take it back immediately; maybe you ate the last cookie knowing full well the other person was saving it for after an intense workout sesh.
Yet, other times, it might take you some time for you to really grasp what it is you did wrong, and you’re really only apologizing just to be the bigger person. If this is the case, first, you really need to understand why the other person feels the way they feel. Acknowledge their feelings, put yourself in the other person’s shoes, and try to see things from their perspective. Otherwise, your faux apology might come off as condescending and make things worse.
1. Admit your wrongdoing to yourself
Just lay it out to yourself first. “This is what I did. I said something hurtful/ I was inconsiderate/ I broke a promise/ I acted like a jerk by doing this or that.” Admitting your wrongdoing serves the purpose of putting things into words, and this, in turn, clarifies it your in head.
And now, you’re ready to talk to the other person.
@staceyannelouis
2. Admit your wrongdoing to the other person
Sometimes, when we apologize, we circle around the fact, or we start by saying “About the other day, I apologize…” Maybe the other person interrupts you by accepting your apology right away. This might make it seem unnecessary to express what you did wrong, and although it might be going the extra mile, putting things into words will make your apology way better. So, when you do state this, make sure you look at the other person in the eye and just say it.
First of all, it’ll let the other person know you’re both on the same page and share the same understanding of whatever it was that happened. Trust me, don’t avoid the recap because laying it out will make the other person feel understood, and that will get you a long way.
Keep it short and direct: “I ate the last cookie, which you were probably saving for breakfast.”
@thwines
3. An Explanation
Just as you put yourself in someone else’s shoes, perhaps you’d like a chance to give your side of the story. This shouldn’t, by any means, become some sort of justification. It should be an explanation of things that will let the other person know you didn’t mean to cause any harm, or that you simply made a mistake (like we all do at one point or another). It’s important. An explanation will make it clear you didn’t intend to wrong anybody, or that perhaps you’ve understood the real problem that lies behind the wrongdoing and that you are working to solve that as well.
4. Express regret
You’ve acknowledged the issue, you’ve got your story straight, you’ve made sure it’ll never happening again, and also, you’re addressing the issue that lies beneath the fact (if there’s any). What’s next? Actually saying you’re sorry.
Say it genuinely and don’t try to add anything else, specially don’t add a “but” or a “however.” Both of those words indicate an attempt to lay the blame on someone or something else other than yourself, and it’ll cancel out the entire process. Saying I’m sorry means saying “I am sorry,” “forgive me,” “I apologize.” Period.
5. Make right what once went wrong
If the situation is somehow unfixable, then maybe that’s that, but you should still try. However, if making amends is more than within your reach, do it. It’s a great way of letting your friend know that you feel so much remorse that you wouldn’t do things the same way had you had the chance. It’ll also rebuild you relationship as much as possible and go back to were you once found yourselves.
“Is it too late now to say sorry?” No, Justin, it never is, but if you’re going to do it, do it right.
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Here are other articles you should check out:
Why An Apology Playlist Is The Most Honest Way To Tell Bae You’re Sorry
A Guide To Coping With A Friendship Breakup
10 Phrases That Can Save Any Relationship From Imminent Break-Up
