Have you ever text flirtatiously with a guy while he is in a serious relationship? Or maybe you flirt with someone when you go out partying even when you’re in a relationship? You must know the meaning of cushioning, right?
If the answer is yes, let me tell you that cushioning it’s not a very good vibe on your part. If you didn’t identify with that, today we’ll explain the meaning of cushioning and why people practice it.
Meaning of Cushioning and Why People Practice It While Being on a Serious Relationship
First of all cushioning refers to the practice of maintaining a backup or a “cushion” of potential romantic interests while being in a committed relationship or seriously dating someone.
These cushions are essentially other people you flirt with, text, or keep on standby just in case your main relationship doesn’t work out.
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It’s a way to soften the blow of a potential breakup, ensuring you won’t be left alone or without options.
While cushioning might seem like a smart way to protect yourself emotionally, it’s not without its pitfalls. For one, it can lead to a lack of genuine commitment in your main relationship. If you’re always looking over your shoulder at your cushions, you might not be fully present or invested in making your current relationship work.
Moreover, cushioning can hurt the people involved. Your partner might feel betrayed if they find out you’ve been keeping others on the side, and the cushions themselves could develop feelings that aren’t reciprocated, leading to confusion and heartbreak.
@huffpost Your significant other may be “cushioning” you and wouldn’t even know it. Kimmy Seltzer, a dating strategist, confidence therapist and image expert, says that being “cushioned” is when a person has “someone else on the sideline just in case [their relationship] doesn’t work out.” Watch the video for her tips on what to do if you find yourself in this situation. To find out what kind of dater you are, visit Seltzer’s site http://www.kimmyseltzer.com and take her quiz. You can also check out her podcast “Charisma Quotient” for more dating advice. #Dating #DatingAdvice #Cushioning #HuffPostLife ♬ original sound – HuffPost
5 Reasons Why People Practice Cushioning
After understanding the meaning of cushioning, we need to analyze the reasons behind people deciding to practice it, because it might be an unconscious action, but it can also be the contrary.
- Fear of Being Alone: One of the most common reasons people practice cushioning is the fear of being single. They might enjoy the security of knowing that if things go south in their current relationship, they won’t be left in the lurch. Having someone else waiting in the wings can provide a sense of emotional safety.
- Lack of Confidence in the Relationship: If someone isn’t fully confident in their relationship’s future, they might start cushioning as a way to prepare for a possible ending. It’s like an insurance policy against heartbreak. This could stem from insecurities or past experiences that make them doubt the longevity of their current relationship.
- Thrill of the Chase: For some, the meaning of cushioning isn’t about preparing for a breakup but about the excitement that comes with flirting and connecting with new people. It can also means that their keeping things interesting for the and to feel desired, even if they’re not looking to end their current relationship.
- Avoiding Emotional Vulnerability: Cushioning can also be a tactic to avoid putting all your emotional eggs in one basket. By spreading out their emotional investments across several people, someone might feel less vulnerable and less likely to get hurt if their main relationship fails.
- Unresolved Feelings: Sometimes, cushioning happens because a person has unresolved feelings for someone else, either from a past relationship or a potential new one. Keeping that person around as a cushion allows them to explore those feelings without fully committing to ending their current relationship.
As you see, the meaning of cushioning is something more hard than just “talking to someone else”.
If now you’re questioning about cushioning in your actual relationship, the short answer is: probably not. While it’s natural to want to protect yourself from emotional pain, cushioning can prevent you from fully engaging with your current partner and building a meaningful, trusting relationship.
Cushioning might offer a temporary sense of security, but it often comes at the cost of real connection and growth. So, before you start lining up those cushions, take a moment to consider what you really want from your relationship—and whether cushioning is truly the answer.
