Today, we’re discussing “pocketing,” a term you may have encountered—it’s more prevalent than you might think.
When I fall in love, I give it my all without hesitation. I’m not sure if everyone feels the same, but for me, it’s a commitment to do everything possible to ensure the other person’s happiness.
It’s not just about being someone’s other half or fulfilling clichéd concepts we hear throughout life. As we mature, we understand that love also involves deliberate choices and nurturing.
What is ‘pocketing’?
Let me explain from personal experience, as you might relate to this scenario:
Imagine having a warm relationship where you date, show affection, spend quality time, and share memorable moments that define a relationship. Gradually, a pattern emerges: your partner shares pictures of meals you’ve enjoyed or places you’ve visited, but you’re conspicuously absent from their social media.
Read also: What Is A Situationship And How To Avoid A New Relationship Trauma
Initially, you might downplay this, understanding that social media isn’t everything and focusing on deeper connections. However, you start noticing that your partner avoids integrating you into their life. They decline invitations to family gatherings, act reserved at parties with your friends, or worse, exclude you entirely from their own events—never acknowledging you as their partner. This is what it means to be pocketed.
While relationships are complex, certain behaviors are non-negotiable. You might rationalize it with excuses like “they value their privacy,” but such actions reveal emotional negligence and possibly a lack of commitment.
If you’ve experienced this, like me, you’ll understand the desire to proudly showcase your loved one. Personally, I was fortunate to encounter this behavior with only one partner who wasn’t emotionally ready. However, for others, such situations can escalate into serious relationship issues and even nightmares.
Hiding your partner from friends, family, and society breeds insecurity. It raises questions about where you stand and what you can do to be acknowledged. Yet, the responsibility for nurturing a relationship is mutual and should be willingly shared—if both parties truly value the relationship.
Dating coach Grace Lee describes pocketing as an act of intentionally concealing your partner, often to maintain distance or even sustain other relationships clandestinely.
Moreover, pocketing can facilitate infidelity, presenting your partner as single to others, thereby complicating matters further.
How can you tell if you’re being pocketed?
- They avoid public places where they might encounter acquaintances who know you.
- Their demeanor changes drastically between private and public settings.
- Monitoring their social media provides little clarity on your relationship status.
- When introduced, they refrain from using terms like “partner” or even acknowledge you beyond a casual friendship.
What should you do if you suspect you’re being pocketed?
Don’t dismiss your feelings—they are valid. Communicate openly with your partner. A responsible and loving partner will listen and be willing to adjust their behavior if it’s causing you pain. Explain that it’s not about publicizing intimate details but about being integrated into each other’s lives.
