When things are officially over, once the grieving period is done, or when you’re almost there, you start to fantasize what it would be like to see your ex again in some undetermined future. You picture yourself successful and independent, in a relationship with someone who truly understands and values you. It’s all planned like a scene in a movie. In this ideal situation you don’t even notice them at first until they call your name. You flip your hair and turn their way. They say something like “Wow, I was such an idiot for letting you go.” And you say, “No, thank you for showing me I deserved better.” And then you walk away.
However, in real life, we’re lucky enough not to run into our former flames on a day when we’re wearing washed out leggings with holes on them and an oversized sweatshirt with an unfortunate coffee stain down the middle. It angers us that they’re not seeing us at our happiest, prettiest, fullest. The fact that we kind of want to be acknowledged and seen by them implies there’s a part of us that still refuses to move on. Not that we’re still pining over that person, but that we’ve continued to allow them to keep the shred of our heart that they took.
When we do run into our exes, after enough time has passed, we realize how ridiculous our worries were. Once enough space has been placed between the two, we start noticing that the person we idealized doesn’t exist. Instead we begin to see them for who they are. It’s at this moment when the blinders come off. Thoughts are floating in exclamation points in our mind and we begin to wonder… “What was I thinking?” The following are just some of the many things you’ll think when you see your ex again. Some might be petty, but that’s okay.
Don’t make it awkward. Don’t make it awkward.
This was the guy who told me to chill out?
I might need a shower after that hug.
Wow, I actually thought you looked a bit like Bradley Cooper. Was I drunk the entire relationship?
Could you please not stare at my boobs?
I’m never trusting myself as a judge of character.
Please don’t let them think I’m stalking them. I only do that online. Sometimes. After my second bottle of wine.
I used to imagine that when we saw each other again he’d come out of his private helicopter with a white tiger on a leash.
Oh, God, please don’t introduce me to your wife.
It’s like all that crying I did went down the drain.
How did I allow this person talk down to me?
Why didn’t I punch you when we were still together?
Honestly, I’d rather make out with the velociraptors from Jurassic Park.
Damn, he’s one of those baby talkers. Wait, did he do that with me?
Oh, you’re actually kind of rude.
Did I find this condescending talk cute?
Love truly is blind.
Okay, maybe it wasn’t so bad.
Well, that’s a relief.
Where’s the nearest bar?
Unlike TV or movies, real life doesn’t come with perfect closure. We need to make it for ourselves. Instead of expecting the perfect ending gift-wrapped and with a huge bow, the end of the relationship comes with unanswered questions and misread situations. The problem is that we hold on to that person because we feel they’ll be able to shed some light when we see them again. In reality, they might be just as confused as we were. It’s also possible that they won’t be able to tells us why things didn’t work out. It’s easy to blame it all on them, but truthfully some things are never meant to be, despite how much we want them. All we can do is be honest with ourselves and the person we’re with, and hope for the best.
Why all that relationship advice only perpetuates sexism.
Is your relationship only a roadstop?
