One moment you feel like you’ve met the coolest and most amazing person in the world and that your life will never be the same. You feel like a princess in a fairy tale, surrounded by cartoon birds in a cotton-candy land, singing about how you’ve found the love of your life. Fast forward a few months (or years) and you have great memories with this person, you love spending time with them, but the thrill of being with them begins to fade. It’s horrible and it sucks, but there’s no need to worry because, to put it in simple terms, our brain is wired to make us feel that way. According to psychologist Arthur Arun, falling in love can be divided into three stages (lust, attraction, and falling in love), all of which involve chemical processes and the release of hormones such as dopamine and serotonin that create the magical sensation of having found “the one.”
I bring up these facts first to understand an essential part of the process of falling out love, as well as the disappointment that inevitably comes with it. The excitement of falling in love will disappear over time, that’s for sure. However, things start getting ugly when love vanishes as well. When that happens, you might wonder whether the relationship is worth it. However, before making a decision, it’s better to determine whether you and your partner are going through a natural process almost all couples go through or if you’re actually falling out of love. Here are six signs that might mean you and your partner are falling out of love with each other.
1. Meeting is no longer a priority
As a relationship becomes more mature, you realize there are moments when neither of you has time to hang out and it’s okay. However, when you start to forgo spending time with your partner intentionally, you should really ask yourself whether that person still matters to you. Same goes for them: are they making time to meet you? Or are they using random things as their main excuse not to meet you now?
2. You avoid physical contact
Sometimes body language says more than words, and avoiding any form of physical contact is another way of showing there is no physical attraction anymore. However, let’s learn to distinguish between you not wanting to hold hands, hug, cuddle, or have sex because you’re not in the mood, and not wanting to do so because you actually don’t want to touch the other person.
3. You feel better when you’re not with your partner
If you feel actual relief when you’re by yourself or with people who are not your partner, you should really ask yourself if you still want to be in that relationship. As I mentioned before, the excitement and thrill of seeing each other will probably fade over time, but feeling uncomfortable or unhappy with that person is a clear sign there’s no love anymore.
4. You see each other as you are
For better or for worse, this is one of the clearest signs you’ve fallen out of love. Best case scenario, although the hormonal filter that made you think the other person was the best human being in the world disappears, you’ll still love each other despite all your flaws. However, if seeing the other person as they actually are turns you off, or worse, makes you realize you no longer want them in your life, I’m sorry to say it, but you’ve officially fallen out of love.
5. You’re no longer patient with each other
This is related to the previous point. Being in love with someone gives you almost infinite patience to deal with them. So, things that you find annoying in other people can actually be fun quirks you like about the person you love. However, when you no longer love each other, and the effect of Cupid’s arrows disappears, so does your patience and, more importantly, the will to solve conflicts in the relationship.
6. You can’t imagine a future with them
Sometimes you might feel like your relationship is in a rut, and most couples go through this. Nevertheless, if after solving your issues, you can’t picture or plan your future with that person by your side, this means the feelings that once drew you to them have disappeared.
It’s hard to accept that the love is gone, but it would be even more difficult for both of you to “endure” each other’s presence forever. Both you and your partner deserve better.
You might be interested in these:
6 Steps To Fall Out Of Love
15 Questions To Decipher Whether Your Partner Is In Love With Someone Else
Photos by Phil Chester