It can’t get any better than this. The silence of the night is broken by laughter, as you both clumsily make your way up the stairs to your room. The soft, yellow street light sneaking through the window is bright enough that your eyes can skim each curve and shadow of the other. The door closes with a soft snick, and the outside world melts away; there’s nothing more you can do than surrender to pleasure.
A sort of calm washes across your body, and the few drinks you had before at the bar loosen up your muscles; you know what is coming, and the erotic dance of kisses and caresses wash away the shyness and doubt. As the clothes rustle to the floor and naked skin meets naked skin, there is a thought that can make you freeze up and be carried away by the implications of the following question:
What do women think when they orgasm?
This depends on two key factors: level of arousal and desire, and how expectations measure up to reality. These two elements impact considerably the quality of the sexual relationship and are responsible for the thoughts that course through their minds during sex.
Reaching orgasm can be quite tricky especially for women who don’t feel they can fully be open with their partners about their preferences. Maybe they have yet to fully comprehend their own tastes and desires. According to The Journal Of Sexual Medicine, 65% of women had their last orgasm during vaginal sex, 81% while receiving oral sex, and 94% during anal sex.
While the clitoris, vagina, lips, and anus are rich with sensory nerve endings that are stimulated as the arousal increases, the brain is the one in charge of processing and converting these stimuli into pleasure and happiness by releasing hormones like dopamine and oxytocin. The intensity of an orgasm varies from person to person, but in general terms it is believed that a clitoral orgasm is the most intense, followed by anal and vaginal.
Once an orgasm is imminent, the thoughts of women are focused on a single thing: the present. Their more wild nature comes to the surface as the brain stimulates the pain thresholds to such an extent that it increases by 107% and the waves of dopamine are translated into pleasure and loss of reason. There is only one goal in mind, and the experience becomes even more erotic. The study highlights that most women visualize themselves outside of the action, and the only thing on their mind is reaching that pivotal moment of ecstasy.
However, something vastly different occurs when the promised moment never arrives. It is an insidious and terrifying thought; for them, it feels as if the sexual act is interminable. What is supposed to be pleasurable becomes cumbersome. We have seen this illustrated in our culture time and time again: women who lie there, making lists and wondering all sorts of things that pop into their heads, from if they turned the stove off to picking up the groceries.
Nothing kills the mood more quickly than “are you done yet?” Researcher at the Rutgers University Barry Komisaruk estimates that approximately 60% of women have had intrusive thoughts during sex, even more so if they have a stable partner. While you might think these intrusive thoughts are a lack of respect and a clear sign that the sex is not working, the reality is that these thoughts are linked to stress, lack of trust in describing sexual preferences, and even the early achievement of an orgasm.
The Journal Of Sexual Medicine