A few years ago I read about a woman who accidentally left a tampon in for over nine days and had to be hospitalized. When asked how she could have possibly left a tampon in for that long, she explained she was a student and the incident happened during exams. Compassion welled inside me when I read that. In a way, this woman was me. She was all of us who decide going to college is a really, really good idea.
Wait, Wasn’t This a Good Idea?
This isn’t to say that I believe college is bad. I love learning, I love education, I have trouble explaining my stance on producing cheaper automobiles for the foreign market in less than two pages. But it’s difficult. In ways you would never expect.
It pushes you to your limits and then tells you to redo an assignment because your sub-header font was dark grey and not black. It tests the limits of your patience with professors and their personality quirks that include never giving 100% on an assignment because nothing is completely perfect, even when they have no feedback on how you can improve.
Let’s Brush Off the Pizza Boxes and Get Real
It’s common to think about people about to graduate as calm, peaceful, centered individuals who are wrapping up the last remnants of their college days and tying it all into a tidy bow. If you’ve ever graduated from college, you know that none of this is likely to be true. The people who sailed through to the end with minimal effort are few and far between, and I’m not even going to worry about them right now.
Far from sailing through anything, right now I feel as though I have been clawing through the Amazon with a machete and a time limit, but no compass. The sad part? This isn’t my first rodeo.
Earning my first bachelor’s was an experience I barely survived after being diagnosed with bipolar disorder halfway through my senior year. When I signed up to go back for another bachelor’s, I was self-assured and determined it wouldn’t be nearly that bad. And so far, I was wrong, but I also haven’t given up.
We’re So Close, Yet So Far, Yet So Close
When the last few months of school creep on it’s hard to feel anything other than confused and afraid and vaguely uncertain. There’s blips of excitement: ordering a cap and gown, arranging graduation announcements, thinking about a party for the big day.
At the same time, all plans seem distant and out of reach and the only thing that’s concrete in your life is the paper that’s due at midnight about a chapter you didn’t read. On one hand, you’re stumbling through life looking for answers to questions about marginal costs and total revenues. On the other hand, you feel like a magic warrior princess, the Amazon in front of you and with that machete in your hand, you’re going to get through it. You’ll just look like hell when you’re finished.
Go get that diploma.
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