Having an argument with your S.O. is both exhausting and heartbreaking, but it’s even worse when you realize you’re the one who screwed up. Having realized that, it might be hard to approach your boo and tell them you’re sorry. Maybe the wound is fresh, so they don’t even want to listen to you, or maybe it’s difficult for you to say sorry because either you’re embarrassed or because, let’s be honest, your ego doesn’t make it easy for you to acknowledge you’ve made a mistake.
In any case, your love for your partner is greater than your mistakes and your pride, and you want them to know that, right? Actions speak more than words, and if you had a strong argument, it’s likely that your partner won’t care if you say, “I’m sorry” a thousand times. You have to prove it.
The wounds will take time to heal. That’s just how it is. However, small gestures can make your apology even more effective than the longest speech about how much you love them and care about them. The first time I heard about people sending songs to their S.O. to apologize, I imagined an old-fashioned serenade scene à la Romeo and Juliet where one of them sings to their partner about how sorry they are and how they’re the one. However, now that I think about it, people used to recur to serenades for a reason. Music is one of the purest expressions of our feelings, so we can find millions of songs exploring all the variations and nuances of each emotion. The mix of sincere lyrics and the intensity of the melodies in apology songs can convey your feelings even better than a long letter or a thousand text messages with sad emojis, broken hearts, and sorry’s.
There are two key elements you have to consider while making your apology playlist and sending it to your partner. First, check that the songs do talk about saying sorry and don’t have a weird backstory that could actually work against you. For instance, if your partner is mad at you because you broke a promise, don’t send them John Lennon’s “Jealous Guy.” There’s a wide variety of apology pop songs that aren’t that specific and still manage to be intense and powerful, so anyone can identify with their message. Also, you can go for songs that have a special meaning in your relationship. Maybe it was the first song you shared with them, the song playing in the background for your first kiss, or one you heard together on the day you met. These songs are special, so you’ll know which one to add to your playlist.
The second and most important element you have to consider: don’t just send your songs without saying anything and out of the blue. When I say the playlist is a gesture, I mean it, but that single act won’t magically make your partner say, “Oh, fine, I’ll forgive you.” The best thing to do is to tell them personally –or at least through a phone call– that you made that playlist thinking of them. Be honest about your feelings, and listen to what they have to say. Also, listen to your gut: if you feel like this isn’t the time for your S.O. to listen to these songs, wait until you find the right moment. This playlist is meant to be an “enhancer” to your apology.
These songs are about saying you’re sorry. Listen to them, ask yourself whether they convey what you want to say, and add them to your apology playlist. Let the passion and honesty of the music express what you can’t say with words.
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Here are other playlists you should check out:
The Perfect Playlist For Those That Look For Something More Than Vanilla Sex
12 Songs That Remind Me How Your Name Is Written On My Heart
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Cover image by Nathan McBride