The first step to break the vicious cycle of codependency is to accept the situation you’re in. Are you feeling helpless and trapped, unable to control your life? Let’s be honest, it can be really difficult to recognize if you’re in an unhealthy relationship. Romantic attachment and passion can become addictive, and with each passing moment you come to believe that your survival depends entirely on the love and affection you receive from that person.
Have you ever felt it’s time to leave someone, but fail to do so because something invisible keeps you in place? When is it that you want to give up on something that you feel it grips you tighter, plunging its claws deep into the psyche. Why do you cling to a relationship that you know is heading nowhere?
The melancholic song “The Chain” by Fleetwood Mac may have an answer for you:
“Run in the shadows
Damn your love
Damn your lies
And if you don’t love me now
You will never love me again
I can still hear you saying
You would never break the chain.
Listen to the wind blow
Down comes the night
Run in the shadows
Damn your love
Damn your lies
Break the silence
Damn the dark
Damn the light.”
The creation of this song was no accident, it was written during a critical moment: a breakup. The story of this song dates back to 1976. Back then, Stevie Nicks and Lindsey Buckingham, who knew each other since school, were icons of this mythical band.
First they formed a band called Fritz with two more friends and after the band split up, they recorded the album Buckingham Nicks as a duet. Although the album didn’t enjoy much success, the band Fleetwood Mac became interested on Lindsey as a guitar player and invited him to join the band. He accepted to join the band, but only if Stevie could join too. When the couple joined the band, a momentous thing happened: they reached top of the charts.
The band members were: Christine and John Mc Vie, Nicks and Buckingham, and Mick Fleetwood. In 1977, their album Rumors was released and sold 40 million copies, becoming one of the top ten best-selling albums on history. This overwhelming success may have been the result of the album’s backstory. All the band got together in a cabin to start composing the album, but everything was falling apart at the same time: Christine and John broke up, and so did Stevie and Lindsey, and Mick’s wife also broke up with him… over the phone.
It is very likely that their exacerbated feelings turned this album into an all-time hit. According to Rolling Stone, this album became a “cultural phenomenon that had never been seen before. It was the most fortunate breakup sold in the form of 45 million copies worldwide. The album was created from their very gut feeling. Rage and detachment were the main ingredients that seasoned each chapter of this family romance of these five neurotics.”
This great success stems from the album being a sort of mirror; we can find ourselves reflected in the songs because all of us have gone through something similar at one point in our lives. Why is it that you stay in relationships you’re no longer comfortable with and even if you’re being hurt? Perhaps your pride won’t let you accept you were in the wrong and you’re deluding yourself, hoping the situation or the person will change. If we had to give a definition of love, irrational attachment would certainly be excluded. Dependency is born from fear and this insidious emotion makes you feel vulnerable, alone, and inadequate. Reality can sometimes be hard to face because it means facing the pain the comes with it.
We’ve all felt despair after losing a loved one, there’s nothing that we can do, but to allow our feelings to fade.
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Source:
Rolling Stone
Historia del Rock
Huffpost
