We all love taking personality tests. There’s something fun and satisfying about answering a bunch of questions and finding out things about ourselves that we might not have known before. Even the silly tests that promise to tell us what kind of ice-cream we are or what TV character we resemble the most are fun to take. It’s probably because we’re trying to find out who we are and want to know as much as we can about ourselves. Sure, by now we kind of know who we are, and we have friends, family, and significant others that tell us what they think about us too. But there’s nothing like taking a test and getting “objective” information about ourselves or “confirmed” insight into how our mind works. Even when a test reveals an aspect of ourselves that we’re not proud of, it’s kind of comforting to know.
The University of Cambridge, one of the top learning institutions in the world, created a test that gives you not only an evaluation of your personality, but also how you relate to other people. In other words, it shows you how various aspects of your personality affect the way you treat people in your life. It’s only five minutes long, completely anonymous, and you can take it online. Basically, it gives you a series of statements you have to agree or disagree with (there’s a spectrum of responses that go all the way from “very much like me” to “not at all like me.”) The only way it works is if you’re completely, 100 percent honest with yourself. Here are some of the statements you’ll find on the test:
· “I find it difficult to depend on other people.”
· “It is very important to me to feel independent.”
· “I find it easy to become emotionally close to others.”
· “I want to be completely emotionally intimate with others.”
· “I worry about being alone.”
· “I worry that others don’t value me as much as I value them.”
As you can see from the statements, this test looks for issues that can cause trouble in a lot of relationships such as dependency, communication, intimacy, and self-esteem, among others. This is why the test’s homepage warns you that you might want to prepare yourself for the results you may get: “negative” evaluations can be really distressing for some people. What if you find out you’re emotionally dependent on your partner? Or that your low self-esteem makes you want to control everything in your life? It’s definitely better to know these things than not knowing them, but it also sucks. That’s the thing about this kind of test: it forces you to re-think how you see yourself and your relationships. It might help you discover what you were doing wrong in a past relationship, why it didn’t work, or why your ex dumped you. It could also show you something about yourself that is probably the reason your current relationship is starting to go downhill. These realizations are painful, and can bring about some serious soul-searching.
However, you shouldn’t let your fear of finding out something negative or embarrassing about yourself put you off from taking a test like this one. Part of growing up is becoming aware of our flaws and all the ways we are not perfect, and embracing them. As cliché as it may sound, it’s the first step toward changing these things and growing as a person. This new information about the way we relate to other people might help you make peace with a past relationship, and will certainly help you build stronger, healthier relationships in the future. All you need to do is be honest with yourself, answer a few questions, and dare to explore the deepest and most essential parts of yourself.
Images by Benjamin Patch
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