By Diana Garrido
If you thought that slathering on layers of makeup on your face every day was bad, and you hate the painful beauty procedures you subject your skin to on a regular basis (be it waxing, exfoliating, or something else), it’s probably because you’re unaware of some very unorthodox beauty treatments people swore by in antiquity.
It wasn’t all fun and games, like Cleopatra’s milk-and-honey mixture. Sometimes, being beautiful came at such a high cost, that it was best not to follow the beauty trends at the time.
Broadly speaking, these beauty routines only produced small, almost negligible results, at best. And sometimes, they didn’t even do anything. Often, these procedures were torture, and only the bravest out there dared to try them, compelled by their determination to belong to that exclusive group of people whose mere presence dazzles everyone around them. Read about them and be grateful that we now have new and relatively-painless alternatives.
Portrait of Mary Bagot ca. 1670 attributed to John Michael Wright
Women highlighted their veins
The whiter the skin, the better. Very pale skin was a status symbol in seventeenth-century Europe because it set the aristocrats apart from the peasants, who spent most of their day working in the sun. Wealthy women would focus on their chest in particular, exposing it to high temperatures in order to make their veins stand out. Then, if it didn’t work, they would paint over them with watercolors.
Cranial modifications
For the ancient Maya, deformed heads were beautiful, so when a baby was born (especially, girls), they would flatten their heads using a board. The Maya believed this would grant them unique beauty and a prosperous life.
“Portrait of a woman” by Rogier van Der Weyden ca. 1464
Removing eyebrows and lashes
In the Middle Ages, women who had long lashes and full eyebrows were seen as prostitutes. For that reason, women who wanted to find a husband or belonged to the Queen’s court, kept them very short and neat, or removed them altogether. They plucked each hair one by one, which was unbearably painful, bloody, and sometimes even caused infections.
Black teeth
Up until the nineteenth century, Japanese women who wanted to get married would paint their teeth black in order to show they were ready for marriage. That’s why they discreetly covered their mouth when they laughed. Once they got married, they cleaned the paint off their teeth, but they kept up the custom of covering their mouth when they laughed as a sign of innocence and loyalty.
“Young Tonkin with teeth painted black” ca. 1905
Wide foreheads. Very, very wide foreheads.
Women in the Renaissance used to pluck or shave off the hairs in their hairline to make their foreheads look wider and, thus, appear wealthier. Most of them had long, blond hair, but they would wear it up, so it looked shorter and more elegant.
Genital piercings
For a time in Victorian England, women would get nipple piercings and tie them together with a chain. Men, in turn, would get one at the tip of their penises in order to wear tight pants more easily. This piercing was known as the “Prince Albert” because he had one. They loved to show them off and took very good care of these parts of their body. However, the trend didn’t last very long because of how painful it was.
Image via Pinterest
Bye-bye, pubes
When the first European colonizers arrived in America, they were shocked by the local women’s painful beauty procedures. One of these involved plucking their body hair, especially their pubic hair, using a mix of herbs and oils that sped up the process but made it much more painful. The end result was smooth, hairless skin within seconds.
Moving eyebrows
In Chinese culture, eyebrows are one of women’s most important features, which is why they sometimes change them throughout the seasons. However, in antiquity, it was even more frequent. Sometimes, pointy eyebrows were in fashion; other times, they wore them short and high to show sadness or pain; and yet others, long, arched eyebrows were popular. They used to paint them on with black, blue, or green grease, which was rather toxic and eventually ended up destroying the skin in the area.
Image via Pinterest
A sexy unibrow
For the ancient Greeks, there was nothing more attractive than a nice, bushy unibrow, and women who didn’t have enough facial hair to grow one resorted to pigments that stayed on their skin permanently after using them for a few years. They would also stick animal hair on their brows, but this obviously had negative consequences on their skin.
Tiny teeth
Renaissance women filed their teeth every day in order to make them shorter and even. The pain was unbearable, but they thought it was worth it. Sometimes, they shortened them so much that it led to a gap between their upper and lower teeth. As a result, they couldn’t chew properly, and it affected their bone structure.
Image from La Mode Pratique (1908)
Impossible corsets
During the Edwardian era, most women sought to have a small waist, perky butts, and wide hips. To this end, they wore very tight corsets that reduced the size of their waist considerably, but also deformed their back, arching it and causing severe injuries and chronic pain.
Full lips
Naturally full lips were not common in ancient Greece, so they would prick the area around and in the middle of their lips with thorns to make them look red and swollen all day long. In the most extreme cases, they would actually get bees to sting them to really make them pop.
Many women really thought that these torture methods would help them live forever or, at least, look young for longer. However, now we know just how useless and harmful they were, so we should all leave them behind in the past where they belong and embrace the new, science-backed beauty treatments the 21st century has to offer.
Are you fascinated by the lives of women throughout history? Or maybe you are a beauty expert with lots of tips to share with the world? You can write for Cultura Colectiva! Read our submissions guidelines and send us a 500-word article to storyteller@culturacolectiva.com
Craving more bizarre history articles? Check these out:
The True Story Of The Vengeful Pirate Queen Who Ruled The Mediterranean
20 Photos Of 19th And 20th Century Geishas You Won’t Be Able To Stop Looking At
How The Representation Of Boobs Has Changed Through Art History
