10 Common First Date Mistakes You Have Probably Made

January 4, 2017

|Alejandro Arroyo Cano



Do you feel like you’re a total catch? Like there should be hundreds of women desperate to be with you? I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but while you see yourself as a suave hunk a la James Bond, you probably have no clue of how to treat women.

Your attitude is like that of an insecure, chauvinistic man-child. You refuse to see reality and your mansplaining attitude is pathetic. The worst part of it is that even with all your issues, you still believe you’re right, so you come off as a pompous fool. The truth hurts, but you need to hear it so you can change. Be the guy the girl of your dreams deserves. If you need some pointers on what not to do, keep reading.

Stare at her like a perv

It’s not a bad thing to observe and look at her. But if you just stand there looking like a creep and not talking to her, you’re probably seen just as a pervert. Change her perception of you by actually walking up and starting a conversation if she is available. 

Texting at 2AM

If you think texting a Byron poem in the middle of the night is a great idea, please, stop. You won’t come off as a romantic hero but like stalker material. People need to sleep. And you are just scaring her off with these gimmicks.


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Remembering her routine

Nobody likes getting repetitive texts asking where they are. It’s okay to ask your special someone about their day. It’s a completely different thing to be harassing her about what she’s doing and who is she with.


Friend-requesting her friends

You’re getting to know each other and it’s kind of going well. But that doesn’t mean you should start adding all her friends and acquaintances on your social media. Not even long term couples have the right to pry into their partner’s life that way. This is a sure way for her to say goodbye.

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Talking to her family

This is a step beyond the latter. To intrude into her personal life, to the point where you start to talk to her family, without her introducing them or allowing it, is a complete invasion of privacy and lack of respect.

Go overboard on the first date

Are you one of those people who on the first date want to hold hands and be very into physical contact? Don’t do it. Let things take their course before she runs away.

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Planning for the future prematurely

It’s only the second date, and you’re already planning for Valentine’s Day. This again makes you come off as intense, obsessive, and controlling. Please, take a breather.

Make fun of what she likes

Maybe you are keeping a safe distance, respecting her sleep and job patterns. But whenever you get to talk about her likes and interests, you show indifference or disapproval. You turn into the snob who knows all the answers. Don’t criticize. Try to be open and understanding.

first date mistakes just stop talking

Bragging about your sexual prowess

Are you trying to impress her or auditioning for porn? Wow, you’ve slept with more than 20 women in two years. How about bragging that to your mom? She might be more interested than the girl sitting across from you.

Taking liberties

Women are capable of living without the help of any man. It’s nice of you to want to drive and accompany her to her events. But it’s one thing to offer help and a whole other to invite yourself. These are just excuses to try to be controlling. Be a true gentleman and give her some space.


How many of these are you guilty of? Just doing one is enough to ruin your attempt to be in a relationship. Apologize to the girl you hurt and accept her decision. If you’re lucky she might give you a second chance for you to prove yourself.




Translated by María Suárez






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Alejandro Arroyo Cano

Alejandro Arroyo Cano


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