6 Ways To Revive A Friendship That Faded Long Ago
March 29, 2017|Maria Isabel Carrasco
Throughout our lives, people come and go for many reasons. Having friends is a social need we all share. It’s being with someone you choose to share funny, sad, and life-changing experiences, that is, someone to share your life with. The bonds created between two friends can be very strong; however, sometimes for infinite reasons we let a friendship fade and get lost.
With social media at its peak, we take some relationships for granted, assuming that just because we like their photos or comment occasionally on them, we're still friends with someone. Not having real and quality contact with someone can make friendships fade away. If you miss a friend with whom you no longer have contact, here are 6 ways to revive that friendship you wish to bring back to life.
1. Analyze the cause of your separation
The first thing you should do before rushing to your phone and messaging them is think what caused the separation in the first place. Sometimes we're so focused on our own personal lives and projects that we often forget to contact our friends. Maybe you stopped hanging out due to different interests, or you really had a huge fight and needed some time to calm things up. Maybe you simply lost the interest, and somehow now you just miss those times. Think twice before you call them; things might not have changed at all, so you can open up past wounds.
If what caused the distancing was indeed a fight, you have two options. If the conflict was caused by your friend, analyze if you have already forgiven them and make sure you don't bring up subject. If you were responsible for the fight, think how you can make amends and hope that person is willing to let things go.
2. Think about how you became friends in the first place
Sometimes you make friends with people who happen to be friends of your friends. A bit confusing, right? I mean, sometimes there's people who you're used to hanging out with and assume they're your friends. If there's no good reason why you stopped talking, maybe you just were acquaintances.
If you want to revive a friendship, think about how you became friends, the things you have in common and all the experiences you shared together. One good exercise you could try is to pretend you're meeting for the first time and letting your qualities speak for themselves.
3. Think of the things that have changed in your life
It's said that no matter what, true friendships will last forever. That's not necessarily true because sometimes we evolve and prioritize other issues in our lives, which clash with our friend's interests, causing a distancing that with time can make the strongest of friendships fade away. If that's your case and you want to rekindle your relationship, first analyze what things you've changed in your life and if that person would fit into your new reality, or the other way around, if you can adapt to your friend's life.
4. Make one first approach
If you've thought about the previous points and decided it's time to make that first approach, do it in a subtle way. You don't know what this person feels about your relationship and the way things ended, so don't be over-eager! Start with a casual chat and, if things flow naturally, propose something fun to do.
5. Recall all those good times you spent together
Once the friendship is back on track, try talking about those good moments you lived together and retelling all those funny and crazy stories you once shared. Studies have shown that retelling stories from the past can trigger those emotions and make you feel as if you were living them again.
6. Leave your ego at home
A friendship is a matter of two perspectiveas If you had differences in the past, it's very likely your pride has been hurt, so don't let your ego dominate the situation. If you're willing to revive this friendship, you must do it in equal terms and leave individualism behind.
Bringing someone from the past into your life can be a double-edged sword. On the one hand, it can be nice to remember good old times and be with someone who was important to you. On the other, it could bring back the remnants of a feud, which bring negative vibes into your life. Think about all the possibilities before acting and try not to fall into the same cycles and mistakes.
New York Magazine