The Day A Man Sued Satan For Having A Shitty Life

Not even Satan himself can get rid from litigious processes.

We've all had days when nothing goes right and life seems to hate us in a very particular way. But, even when we know our misfortunes are nobody's fault, we still try to blame God, ourselves, or anyone else for our own misery. We can be a little “extreme” when coping with anger and a lifestyle we are not loving. The healthiest way to face difficulties is by genuinely finding their silver linings and long term lessons. But sometimes it gets so hard to feel happy about our own tragedies that pointing fingers to anyone but us becomes easier than anything else. Then, what happens when a man gets creative and a little bit too cranky about his current shitty-life situation? Well, the outcome is unbelievable.

It all began during the hazy and revolutionary seventies. There were a lot of disputes going on, but one of the most important was about religion. Either you worshiped God, or the Devil. As a matter of fact, Satanic movies became a big deal during this decade; instant classics such as Rosemary's Baby and The Exorcist were born during this era. Demons and Satanism were controversial topics at the time. Anything that didn't have a logic explanation was considered diabolical and had to be fixed with the love of God. Amongst the people that feared the Devil, there was a man called Gerald Mayo. This man would go down in history as the man that decided to file a lawsuit against Satan. Why did he do such thing? Well, according to Mayo, life was getting too difficult and there was no way this was just a bad coincidence for him.

On a very surreal day at court, Mayo stated in a lawsuit that: "Satan has on numerous occasions caused plaintiff misery and unwarranted threats, against the will of plaintiff, that Satan has placed deliberate obstacles in his path and has caused plaintiff's downfall" and had therefore "deprived him of his constitutional rights." Gerald filed the lawsuit in forma pauperis; that is, stating that he would not be able to afford the costs associated with his lawsuit. Sure enough, Judge Weber, who was in charge of Mayo v. Satan case, denied his request to waive the fees and went forward with the case, stating: “The court has serious doubts that the complaint reveals a cause of action upon which relief can be granted…". And of course they were going to have serious doubts. Because who would be capable of spotting the devil and sending him straight to jail? One would think that hell was more than enough for the fallen angel. And now, he has a criminal record with the United States.

However, this particular lawsuit couldn't proceed, not because of the nonsense of Mayo's accusation, but actually because it is prohibited under several sections of the United States Code. In other words, you can't accuse someone that can't be taken to court. Like this bizarre story, there are a variety of examples that perfectly portray this civil ridiculousness. For instance, in California, if a frog dies during a frog-jumping contest, it can't be eaten. In Indiana, liquor stores can't sell cooled water or soda. In Mississippi, swearing in front of two or more people in public could land you in jail for up to 30 days. And the list could go on, but you get the point, right? This kind of laws are just the easy exit for nonsense thinking (and acting). Now we can start to understand why a man thought it would be a good idea to sue Satan, because while living the American Dream, anything is possible.

As Gerald Mayo showed, blaming God, the Devil, or your guardian angels will never fix your problems. Yet it will definitely make dealing with them easier to cope with. Just make sure not to escalate this to a legal matter, because it won’t be helpful at all!


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