Do you really know who your partner is? When we start a relationship, we sometimes weave fantasies of who our partners really are. Some do the fatal mistake of placing them on a pedestal and seeing them as people without fault.
Just as candy floss dissolves in water leaving no trace behind, these dreams are washed away by reality. It is natural to stop seeing our lovers as ideals, and instead, see them as people of flesh and bone. Perhaps the reason we begin to weave fantasies is because we are filling knowledge gaps, we don’t know our partners well enough so we cram the lack with fantasies. In order to fully capture their essence, get to know them, and in turn, show them our own nature is to talk and most importantly, listen closely.
Good conversations are what makes us fall in love with each other. Through conversations we get to deepen our affection for that person and it can be a sublime and comforting experience. We just need to keep our ears open. Have you ever had any of these amazing conversations?
From dusk till dawn
There’s nothing like lying in a bed with your partner at night, about to go to sleep, and suddenly getting caught up in a conversation so exciting that neither of you can stop. Sharing a pillow you both bring back the ghosts of the past. Having some listening to you and being your rapt audience sparks an indescribable feeling of comfort and quiet joy. You feel as light as the feathers inside your pillows and duvet. You get lost in each other’s eyes. Their words feel like caresses and listening to them feels like a déjà vu. What they’ve lived through is so vivid you almost see them as your own experiences. Then a speck of light comes dancing through your window. It’s the sun, and although you didn’t even rest your eyes, it feels as if you had the most wondrous of dreams.
Laughing until your faces turn blue
When you and your partner are truly connected, there are days when, in the middle of a conversation, you’ll start bursting into laughter. Even as the conversation continues you still feel the bubbles of laughter rising. Their lips twitch and that’s enough for you to laugh once again.
Having the same train of thought
We spend so much time with our S.O that there comes a moment when it feels like your minds merge and you follow the stream of random thoughts. When you get to this point you feel as if you have the ability to see how their minds work. You can speak up about anything that pops into your mind, and its great when you feel they get you without having to fill in the blanks.
Knowing that silence is precious
Undoubtedly, the best conversations you can have with your partner are those where sporadic silences feel natural. Just being next to each other is enough and a single touch is as if you were writing a story together. The grazing of the hands and the gentle murmurs are a language only shared between two bodies. You can write verses with your mouth and explore the parchment of their skin. A kiss is a rhyme, and every caress becomes an alliteration. Be lulled by the rhythm of their breath and know that your body is forever entwined with theirs.
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Images by
Phil Chester
(@philchester)
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