Letting go of others is one of the hardest situations we’ll experience as human beings. At times we might feel like loving someone is enough reason for them to be part of the rest of our lives. However, we don’t realize that for that to happen, it requires a great deal of work from both parties. Regardless of whether they’re a friend, family member, or a romantic partner, there is a lot of patience, tolerance, compromise, communication, and responsibility involved.
Saying goodbye can mean the end of a relationship or a new beginning, it implies a moment that includes a before and after with someone. Sometimes it seems hard to know when one is officially out of our lives, plans, or, even worse, when we no longer fit into their journey. It’s normal to feel confused, full of questions and doubts, even resentment.
It’s difficult to notice at first, especially when there’s history, plans, or hopes that will soon be forgotten. Melancholy and nostalgia are great company, and can even inspire you to see things through a new perspective. But remaining between the two is not healthy.
In this article we share with you the signs that will let you know if it’s time to be honest with yourself, grateful, and ready to turn the page. This doesn’t mean that all the experiences you lived with that person will be gone. It means you will be able to meet new people, have new moments, as well go to new places to explore and discover.
When plans change
This situation can happen on a professional, personal, or even a spiritual level. We tend to think of our lives as scheduled. We set goals that we expect will be fulfilled within a particular time frame. But it doesn’t always work out that way. There are moments and situations that cannot or should not be predicted; it’s better to let them occur spontaneously. It’s a mistake to think that the job we don’t currently have is the one missing piece we need to be happy. The same applies when we put all that pressure into one person. The path slowly takes shape, but sometimes there are unforeseen changes that cause a different plan to be made. It’s hard to say goodbye but think of it as a step towards personal discovery and transformation.
Letting Go
Imagine reaching the top. After so much effort and hope, you suddenly realize it’s not what you wanted. It’s okay, don’t think of it as a mistake or a failure, just as a fresh start. We often hold on to a relationship or situation just because we have already put so much effort, someone else tells us it’s for the best, or because we’re afraid to have to start over. This doesn’t mean we’re oblivious to the feelings of others, but if we spend our time thinking about what everyone else wants without ever prioritizing our own dreams, we will never be able to fulfill our own purpose.
Intuition is your compass
Each one of us has felt lost or disoriented at some point. Relationship-wise or any other aspect of life, we need to listen in order to decide which road to take. We have come to believe that happiness can only be reached through suffering and sacrifice, but that’s not true. If you search deep within yourself you’ll find out you’re exhausted of fighting. It’s not about forcing something to work or constantly picking up the pieces to keep moving. Listen to your intuition and the peace you’ll feel when you know you’ve done the right thing.
Everything happens for a reason
We’re only tourists passing through this life. There are beautiful and painful moments that eventually vanish. A goodbye is opening a door to the world. It’s a chance. If you look back you’ll notice that it’s not the first time in your life you’ve gone through this. There are goodbyes you can’t avoid; there are those you’re obligated to make, and there’s plenty that you’re thankful they happened. But no matter how they came to be, they are and will remain part of you.
Borges once said, “There are defeats with more dignity than a victory.”
We don’t learn to say goodbye in school. Nobody teaches us how to let go or move on. But we need to know that it’s a completely valid thing to do, whether you’re the one letting go or being the one that’s been let go. It’s not easy for either person. But it’s this point we need to make, to value the individual worth of each party involved. That is the only way we can break the ties that keep us together in order to remain thankful. Don’t be afraid to let go; it could be the one thing holding both you and the other person back from greatness.
Translated by María Suárez
