Love knows no age. We’ve heard that so many times, and it’s probably true. Recently we saw all over the internet, television, and newspapers about the relationship between France’s president and his wife, who’s 25 years older than him. And regarding that subject, there were many opinions. Instead of really focusing on Macron’s capabilities as a politician, most people were really interested in his marriage and that “unbelievable” age gap. Most of these comments were extremely sexist, and while it is true that culturally women are perceived in a negative way in these relationships, there’s no justification. If the man is way older than the woman, she’s only after his money. And if it’s the other way around, the woman must have issues, because she unable to find a man her own age. With men it’s the contrary. They’re applauded for scoring a younger partner girl. Or are believed to have a special skills or attributes to have landed the attention of a mature woman. This phenomenon of perception occurs mainly in heterosexual relationships, but that doesn’t mean it’s exclusive. The thing that really affects these relationships is the opinion of others.
When it comes to the age gap situation, in my opinion, it all depends on maturity rather than a particular number. There are older people that are way more immature than others in their twenties, and that’s really the pickle. If there’s an important age gap between you and your partner (regardless of who’s older or younger), you must first think about whether you’re mature enough to handle a relationship like that. We’re all shaped according to the cultural and sociological norms of our generation, and that can really bring some differences that, while seeming unimportant, in the future can become more noticeable. But if you’re mature enough to understand both your reality and your partner’s, there shouldn’t be a problem.
You should also keep in mind the future plans for the both of you. Do you share them? Do they match? Because more than the age difference, what really matters is your life together and whether you’re on the same page. This might sound outdated, but think, about marriage or children. If your partner is older and they already went through this, it’s possible that they don’t want to do it again. You might not want to think about that for now, but if you want to pursue this kind of lifestyle, you’ll have a problem in the future. The same applies for other life goals, like moving abroad or any big decision. If your plans don’t really match, then the age gap might be a problem.
Another important thing to consider is how you live your life. For instance, the younger party might be more interested in partying and going out, while the older might not be that much into those activities. Also, while love and maturity belong to the realm of the mind, you can’t forget that aging involves a physical process that gets even more noticeable with bigger gaps. You might be content with how things look now, but if you’re looking for a long relationship, you’ll have to bear this in mind.
I’m not against age differences. I do think that most of the controversy around them falls into stupid social assumptions. At the end of the day, the body is just a shell we carry around, but in order to have a successful relationship (with anyone basically), we must be honest with ourselves and our partners regarding expectations and life plans. If they match, great! But if not, you might want to consider either giving up some of your plans and adapting yourself to a shared future, or ending the relationship. At the end of the day when we’re in a relationship, we hope it lasts forever, or at least for as much as possible, so having all in mind beforehand is the best way to ensure it doesn’t end for something stupid.
***
Images by @jaxlisa and @lenaghelan
***
For more relationship advice, or at least to know more about them, take a look at these:
Why You Should Take Your Time To Discover A New Relationship
The Twilight Zone Of Liking Someone Else’s Photos While In A Relationship
6 Things You Go Through When Your Ex Moves On Before You
***
