Whenever you allow someone else to manipulate you, you become your worst enemy. Even if society accepts you, that won't matter if you don't accept yourself first.
Insecurity is a vicious cycle that, if left unbroken, will destroy your self-esteem. A lack of self-love can drag you into toxic relationships, where you are compelled to seek acceptance from those whose indifference and lack of emotional intelligence will ultimately hurt you.
It's true that some experiences leave us with lifelong scars. Nevertheless, everyone must take responsibility and learn how to use these scars to their advantage. Inner strength doesn't come from invulnerability or stepping over others to achieve your goals. On the contrary, power comes from embracing your own decisions and accepting yourself, quirks and all.
At times you won't feel loved because your definition of love will hardly match that of others. Still, you must love yourself and this implies respecting yourself, dedicating time and space for your own interests, and believing you have all the capabilities to succeed in whatever you set out to do. There's no need to tether yourself to any relationship to feel part of something important. You must learn to let go, as well as set rules and follow them, that is, stay true to your own convictions.
An insecure woman only cares for her partner's needs, whereas a strong woman shares her partner's interests without giving up hers.
A strong woman knows how to say "no" because she knows what she wants to achieve and understands that strength and confidence are the foundations of self-respect. In contrast, an insecure woman can put her life on hold due to her fear of saying "no." Those ruled by insecurities gravitate towards toxic relationships and ignore their own desires, which create cycles of frustration and resentment.
A strong woman knows that distance isn't an obstacle for a loving relationship. She asks her partner, friends, and family for space whenever she needs it. On the other hand, an insecure woman chooses another's happiness over her own, even if this means drowning in her own misery.
A strong woman accepts her virtues and flaws, and therefore has enough confidence to share her life with someone else without fear of being judged. Meanwhile, a woman who hides behind many facades will struggle to find a balance between success and self-worth.
A way of building up confidence is by understanding and embracing the quirks and "flaws" we carry within.
We're only human after all. We all have good days and bad days and if we let the problems escalate these will end up crushing you.
Vulnerability will offer you strength and the moment you open up and face those inner demons, then that is where you'll gain power. Yes, we all have insecurities, we've all taken a tumble, but it is the way we pick ourselves up that distinguishes someone who is powerful from a veritable doormat. It sounds easy to say "love yourself" and "be confident," but you and I know the struggle this entails. While this may speak to women directly, it applies to everyone. After all, we all have inner demons to slay.
Translated by Andrea Valle