Ghosting, The Cruelest Way To End A Relationship

Ghosting, The Cruelest Way To End A Relationship

By: Maria Suarez -

Ending a relationship through radio silence. Have you been ghosted before? Or are you the one who's disappeared without a trace?

You said you’d never do that to someone. You’re braver than that. You’re honest. Then one day, while out with someone, you just know it’s not going to work out. Maybe they want more from you than you can give. What if they expect you to be someone you’re not? Perhaps you’re still thinking about your ex and might still need some time alone. Or, what if, you just don’t feel as excited or interested in them but can’t seem to find how to tell them?

You’ve never had to do this. It’s usually the other way around. But with every text you get, you feel your body getting more and more enveloped in this incredible anxiousness. So then you make up your mind. Just don’t answer any message, leave them as unread. They’ll get it eventually right?

You hear a voice in the back of your head telling you to not do this. Just be open, and they’ll understand. But you say no. If you engage in any dialogue that person might get the wrong idea. They might get their hopes up. They’ll think that maybe they can change your mind. Then they could start to believe they can heal you. But they don’t know you. The image they have of you is one that’s been perfected over time. It’s an undamaged version of yourself lacking all baggage.

So you make up your mind. It’s the best solution for both parties. You save yourself from having to look at that person in the eyes and extinguish their hopes. As for them, it’ll be easier for them to move on if it’s something that just happened. They’ll probably forget about it in a few days. Yes, you decide. It’s a win-win situation for everyone involved.

At that moment your phone lights up.

Hey, what’s up?

You stare at the screen for what seems like ages. You don’t touch the device and try to look away. Who knows? They might sense it. You feel like a criminal, a thief who’s escaping through the window. You get a couple more texts during the day, but you curiously “forgot” your phone on your way out. There are a few more messages that make you shrug when you get back. The following days are a haze. It’s a sort of game similar to walking in a minefield where any sudden move might accidentally have you opening their messages. Changing the delivered sign for read.

Until one day there are no more messages, no more hellos, funny messages, invitations to watch a movie, or even the random text asking if everything’s okay. They just stop, and you breathe a strange form of relief. But in the back of your mind you know you took the easy way out. You did what others have done to you before by pouring uncertainty into someone’s life.

At first you were worried you might bump into that person but it never happens. So eventually you move on. The next time you cross stares with someone you’ll think twice before approaching them. You’ll only engage once you’re positive and sure. Because for all the pain you may have caused, this entire endeavor has taken its toll on you.

So now you know. Only start what you know you can go through with. Because changing your mind once everything has been set in motion only causes frustration, negativity, and guilt. So tread carefully.

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