The movie Mon Roi shows us how hard it is to close a love cycle. The protagonists, tied by destiny, seem to be destroying each other, but they can't help it. More than moving on, they hurt the other by staying in a destructive relationship.
The perfect love story they had at the beginning fades because of the harshness of everyday life, the people that surround them, and their suffering caused by insecurity. Nobody thought that those wild moments of love they experienced when the relationship started would be forgotten, and, instead, only depression would remain. No matter how hard they try, the protagonists can't leave this hell.
Infidelity, addictions, delusions, "hysteria"... What does a person need to leave someone and move on?
Buddhists would say we need to reach Nirvana, that moment when life and existence move to a second stage and spiritual freedom starts. Many assure that to achieve this state, the individual must leave aside their inner desires, neediness, conscience, and fixation on birth, death, greed, hate, confusion, and ignorance. Just like that, anyone who follows this will reach the absolute truth.
In this state, there's no suffering, and the soul embraces divinity and the Absolute. Only in Nirvana the being can reach ecstasy and forget the tragedies that afflict humanity. Obviously, reaching it seems to have hints of divinity and transcendence, but to successfully achieve it, one must go through the most complicated obstacles. Closing a cycle is one of the most difficult processes.
Love yourself first to love othersThere's no wiser lesson than this one. If you don't know how to be at peace with yourself and feel good with who you are, you'll never be able to be happy with someone else. On the contrary, you'll always feel the need to be with other people to "be happy." "Self-conquest is far better than the conquest of others. Not even a god, an angel, Mara or Brahma can turn into defeat the victory of a person who is self-subdued and ever restrained in conduct." (Dhammapada, verse 104)
Don't confuse love with closenessYou must learn that being with someone is not essential to love them; also, you don't have to be attached to them to feel loved. A healthy relationship creates instead of destroying, and it's neither jealous nor selfish.
Meet changes with wisdomNothing is stable. Change and transformation are part of nature. If you're familiar with this Buddhist principle, you'll probably know that mutations are a natural process, so there's no reason to hate them or feel despair about them. Things just happen. The way you welcome change is up to you.
Suffering is optionalSuffering is mistakenly seen as decadence; however, it's a process of learning that should be faced with love towards life. Willpower is what allows us to see suffering from a different perspective and face it as something optional.
Always forgiveThose who hurt you no longer matter; the important thing is to feel right with yourself and make of those moments something positive for you. When you forgive, you learn from past conflicts and avoid suffering.
All lost battles are lessonsIf you know how to overcome your mistakes, you'll understand your flaws and do things better in the future. Those lost battles are lessons you must learn from.
Only love dispels hate
If you feel resentful towards the person who ended the relationship, you're only hurting yourself. "Hatred is never appeased by hatred in this world. By non-hatred alone is hatred appeased. This is a law eternal." (Dhammapada verses 5-6) You don't need to suffer for something you can't change. Love the other as much as possible and remember that's the only way to actually forgive.
Free yourself from any attachment
Pursue personal development
"Overcome the angry by non-anger; overcome the wicked by goodness; overcome the miser by generosity; overcome the liar by truth." (Dhammapada 24) Always try to become a better person, and so, you'll make your suffering disappear.
Legendary Buddhist Monk Teaches Us What Is Really True Love.
The Dalai Lama's Atlas of Emotion That Will Bring You Peace
Images from Thought Catalog
Translated by María Isabel Carrasco Cara Chards