An honest guide to all the New Year's resolutions we should ditch for good.
If you think 2019 will be the year you achieve your resolutions, you're probably wrong. I'm here to liberate you from all the pressure society puts on you. Let's stop pretending we're going to do all the things we said we were going to do. Here's a list of common New Year's resolutions, and why you should ditch them.
diet, instead?There are tons of benefits to exercising besides losing weight, but let’s face it: if you don’t do it already, you probably don’t like it. Do you really want to force things? It’s such a hassle, too: registering at the gym, finding the time to do it, buying the right clothes... Why not go on a
Eat less junk food
Junk food is the one-night-stand of foods: don’t do it all day every day, but every once in a while, it’s okay to indulge in tasty, greasy deliciousness. Just for a night, just to get it out of your system. You might hate yourself later, but nobody can take away from you that first bite of a cheeseburger that just did it for you.
Traveling is overrated. Do you really want to be one of those gap-year, wannabe Buddhist Westerners who stay at hostels in Phnom Penh only to hang out amongst themselves, while also looking for an “authentic” experience? No, you don’t want that. Stay home and don’t give other cities a reason to hate tourists.
Drinking is cool, and everyone’s doing it. Unless you truly have an unhealthy relationship with alcohol that negatively affects your personal and professional life, then I advise you to stop judging yourself for drinking.
People. Ugh. You already have two friends. Do you really need more?
Being on the phone less
Hey, you spent $1,000 on this phone, so you better believe I’m gonna advise you to be glued to it. Text me if you need anything, Mom.
Books suck. Just wait for the movie to come out.
Learn to cook
I’m gonna go ahead and stop you right there before you hurt someone or yourself. Seriously.
Spend less money
I’m gonna quote John Lennon quoting his wife, “Oh, boy, when you're dead, you don't take nothing with you but your soul.” Saving money isn’t cool. You know what’s cool? Shopping.
Start a new project
We all know how this is going to end. Say your project is to restore that rocking chair your great-grandmother passed on to you. Midway through the thing, you’ll end up abandoning it, and then you’ll just end up with a bunch of junk at home that Marie Kondo will ask if it brings you joy.
Get a new hobby
Writing? Knitting? Bird watching? Photography? Forget it. You haven’t done this in your life for a reason. You’re probably bad at it. So, don’t even.
Fall in love
Love won’t come when you decide to be resolute about it. Love will get you when you least expect it. Maybe tomorrow, maybe later this year, maybe never. Who cares? It’s like the old saying says: “Better off alone than with bad company.”
New Year, new me? New Year, same me, baby. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.
Write for us!
Do you have an idea for an article like this? Do you have a story to tell? Read our submissions guidelines and send us a 500-word article to [email protected]
If you like this article click on these: