How Long Should You Fight For Your Relationship?
October 26, 2017|Zoralis Pérez
No matter how much you love or want to be with them, sometimes it's better to let go.
There’s no expiration date in a relationship. No calendar, due date, or pre-determined end. You decide when your relationship ends. When there are issues in a relationship, you have two options: get out or work on them. If you choose the second option, there’s no guarantee you’ll fix all your problems and work everything out. Sometimes you can, but sometimes it’s just impossible. Trying to fix these issues can be exhausting and emotionally draining. So, how do you know when it’s time to call it a day and break up?
Here are five signs you should give up on your relationship:
1. When you feel it in your gut that it’s not going to work out.
Call it your gut, instincts, or heart, but there’s a part of you that feels something's going on and tells you what you should do. In a relationship, it’s super important because being with someone is more about how we feel about them than what we think. If at some point, you just know your relationship is doomed and nothing can save it, it’s time to say goodbye.
2. When you’re tired, and you don’t want to keep fighting anymore.
This signal is very related to the previous one. Sometimes a relationship struggles with very difficult issues for a long time, leading the two people in it to spend more time working on these issues and trying to find a solution than actually enjoying their time together. After a while, this can be exhausting, and can make you question whether the relationship is really worth all that effort. When you feel so tired that you just want to give up, it’s probably because a part of you has already realized it’s not worth it.
3. When the other person doesn’t want to keep trying anymore.
Assuming both of you are fighting for the relationship together, there might come a time when you either realize they don’t want to keep trying anymore, or they actually tell you they’re done. This is one of the clearest signals you’ll get that it’s time to call it a day. It doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t love you anymore, but it means they’re not going to be there with you as you try to fix all the issues in the relationship. As much as you love them and want to be with them, you need to listen to what they’re saying. You don’t want to be rowing the boat all on your own.
4. When the issues in the relationship are hurting your mental health.
This should also be a clear sign that it’s time to put an end to things. When there are issues in the relationship that not just hurt you, but also affect your mental health, you really, really need to take a step back and think about your reasons for wanting to stay with that person. No matter how much you love them or how long you’ve been with them, you and your health should you be your number one priority. It doesn’t have to be a final, end-of-the-world break up. Think of it as a much needed break to take care of yourself. Maybe after some time apart, both of you will have grown and you won’t hurt each other anymore.
5. When you’d rather start dating someone new or just be on your own for a while.
When you’re in a relationship that’s been going downhill for a while and you start fantasizing about not being with that person anymore, it’s kind of a big deal. Whether you fantasize about being with someone you know, going out with lots of new people, or just being alone, this means you don’t want to be with your partner anymore. Whatever you felt for them before isn’t there anymore, and you’re ready to start a new chapter in your life. Be honest with yourself and don’t just stay because you don’t want to hurt them. You’ll be hurting them more if you stay with them without loving them.
Breaking up is hard, and it hurts, but if a relationship isn't working and nothing you do is going to change anything, it's healthier to put an end to things. Your heart and your partner's will thank you for it.
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