Before her current relationship, my best friend couldn’t stay in a relationship for longer than a year. Every relationship failed due to different reasons, but one way or another she always ended up breaking up them without a second thought. I asked her several times why she didn’t allow her relationships to grow, and she always pointed out that her partners didn’t make an effort to spend more time with her. Work and friends always came first for them. But a few months after she started dating her new boyfriend, I got a text message from her asking, “my boyfriend wants to take me to a trip so we can get to know each other better, how do I know that it’s the right time?” I told her to look for the signs, and she did. As it turns out her relationship problems were also due to her own busy schedule, so going away with her boyfriend gave her time to forget about her responsibilities, relax, and get to know this person better. Here are the signs that she looked for before going on that trip with her partner.
You’ve been together for a while now.
You should go on a trip with your partner when the two of you have already known each other long enough to feel comfortable together for an extended period of time. This trip should also strengthen the relationship. It wouldn’t be a good idea to go on a trip when you have barely started dating or know very little about each other. What if you find out you and your partner are not compatible during the trip? Make sure you don’t make this decision impulsively and do plan it in advance.
You haven’t been able to spend that much time together recently.
There’s no doubt that one of the main causes of a breakup is the lack of time spent together. If you and your partner are having a hard time meeting and communicating, but you really want to make things work, maybe the best solution would be to go somewhere together. That way, you’ll find the time to bond and catch up on all the things your busy schedules didn’t allow you to talk about before.
You can actually take time off.
One of the many reasons to go on a trip is so you can get away from all the chaos of city life that keep you away from each other. But you can’t do it if your working schedule doesn’t allow it. Make sure you and your partner are able to commit to this trip; otherwise, ask when it would be a good time to do it. All jobs allow certain vacation time even if it’s just a day or two, which you can mix with a weekend to make it work.
And you have enough cash.
Do you have enough money saved for a trip? I would say that’s one of the first signs. Otherwise, who’s going to pay for everything? Some people expect their partners to cover everything, but if they don’t offer to do so, you shouldn’t expect them to pay. Talk to your partner and come up with a figure. It all depends on how long you have been together and what your relationship is like, but I would suggest paying for half of all the expenses – it’s just the fair thing to do.
You’re both able to handle crises.
Wherever you go, with or without a partner, something is bound to go wrong. For example, travelers miss flights, get food allergies, and can even loss important belongings like a passport or a credit card. While a moment like this would be ideal to see how your partner reacts, it can also end in something bad. You should at least know how your partner behaves under stressful situations before going on a trip with them.
You want to travel together.
It sounds like a no-brainer, but it might be more complicated than you think. There’s the possibility that they were really excited about the trip when you first started planning it, but something made them change their mind, and now they don’t want to go anymore, but they still go because they don’t want to upset you. If this happens, they won’t really have fun and they will always be uncomfortable and ready to leave. A trip together should be romantic, exciting, and lots of fun, but if one of you doesn’t feel like going, it would be best to skip it this time and wait for the right time.
Traveling together is a big step: it’s the closest thing to moving in together. You will have to make many decisions as a team and all the new dynamics will teach you a lot about your partner, even things you thought you knew about them. Of course, I would say listen to your gut: if you are unsure about this trip or don’t feel ready, then, don’t force it. Instead, tell your partner about your concerns and plan a trip for another time.
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