Do you always wish to could stay in the euphoric rush of the beginning of a relationship? Welcome to the Romeo Syndrome.
The name Romeo remits us to that character who got involved in a tumultuous passionate affair leading two teens to a tragic end. His daydreaming fatalistic personality made the young Montague careless enough to take his own life when he realized the unlikelihood of having Juliette by his side. But there was a riskier aspect to his behavior than simply dying for love: staying stuck in the honeymoon phase.
His mind had no room for anything but the feverish ecstasy of falling in love and the hormonal rush that comes with it. After experiencing an amorous disappointment with Rosaline, the Shakespearean character meets Juliet, and we all know what happened then. The Romeo and Juliet affliction is love taken to the extreme regardless of the consequences. Romeo’s illness is falling in love with love.
The excitement of the first dates is a feeling that can never be repeated. It also raises self-esteem to astronomical levels and produces a sort of hormonal buzz. But to those suffering from Romeo syndrome, their choice is to never let go of that emotion. They enjoy the feeling of falling in love and feel a cruel disappointment when the relationship begins to mature into a deeper kind of love.
As feelings grow stronger and the relationship seems to be moving towards more commitment, they constantly make their emotions known to friends, family, and social media. Everything looks like they’ve finally found the right person, as the fairytale goes on for months, until Romeo makes his appearance.
The subtle arrival of love, implying coming back down to Earth from this honeymoon phase, starts to mean trouble to them. While others would see this as stability and security, Romeos see it as a sign of disenchantment, of the relationship coming to an end.
Despite the relationship gaining trust and connection as it matures, the lack of intensity and excitement of the first few months weighs heavy on Romeo’s chest. They translate each action as a cruel reminder of what ended up happening to the original couple written by the Bard. In this case, death is the end of attraction and being high on love. They believe it’s impossible for love to thrive through communication, as well as mutual understanding and acceptance, of having feelings for someone while knowing well their strengths and weaknesses.
Someone who carries with them Romeo’s affliction will try to relive the incendiary passion of the past. Time and time again they will bleed every resource dry in their quest to rescue what they think is a terminal-phased relationship. Even if what they have is true love, each attempt will only frustrate them more as they find that the bubble has burst.
After trying several times, distrust will have taken over the relationship. They’ll start blaming their partner, questioning what they did wrong. Against this depressing scene unraveling inside Romeo’s mind, there is nothing left but to split up. Because only then will they be able to experience once more the sensations of falling in love: the first kiss and the subsequent sexual encounters with someone new.
The carrier of this tragic disease chases the feeling of being in love without thinking or caring about anything else. They refuse to make the jump towards stable love, holding onto the intensity, fantasy, and the loss of objectivity that comes with any relationship that is just beginning.
The main source of this problem is an evident disconnect from reality. Insecurities and the constant propagation of a childish idealization of love creates reactions such as the Romeo syndrome. There is only one known cure: a dose of reality to show that love is a human feeling that comes with mistakes and is only strengthened by dedication, solidarity, and mutual trust.
Translated by María Suárez