How can you tell whether you and your partner are compatible? There are non-verbal signs and actions that show that the two of you are having an excellent time.
One of the questions that might come to mind after you and your partner start having sex is whether you’re compatible or not. The fact that this topic isn’t discussed as openly as it should makes it even harder for couples to know if they’re doing it right, or to read the signs that the sex is good. For instance, it’s often thought that the more sounds they make, the better you’re performing. However, that belief is based on the exaggerated depiction of orgasms in movies, particularly in porn, where these orgasms, as you might have guessed, are actually faked. Then, how can you tell whether you and your partner do have great sex? Communication between the two of you is essential to know. However, there are other non-verbal signs and actions that tell that the two of you are actually having a great time.
You don't rush the foreplay.
You and your partner know foreplay is an essential part of good sex. However, you don’t do it just like a routine step you have to go through to get to the real deal, but you make it part of the whole sexy time. It's a moment for you to enjoy, to make the pleasure last from beginning to end, and to get to know each other even better. Perhaps, you even use that time to explore new ways to spice up things between you two and to try new moves.
You take your time.
Related to the previous point, you know that quickies aren’t really the best way to lead a healthy and enjoyable sex life. I mean, everyone has them sometimes, but they shouldn't be the norm in a relationship because after a while they can become boring and even unpleasant. Sex is something you should look forward to, and like with everything else you enjoy in life, you wouldn't want it to end too soon if you're having a good time, right? That’s why you take things slow and make sure both of you are having a good time. If your partner is rushing it (when you didn't agree to do it quickly), they’re probably not enjoying it, so they want it to end as soon as possible.
It doesn’t feel like a chore.
Sex is an activity that the two of you enjoy. Although there are couples that schedule sex to keep the spark alive, the key to know you’re having a great sex life is that, even if it’s scheduled, it doesn’t feel like a task. You let yourself surrender to your desires and know how to innovate and please each other to make sex a moment to bond, not a task you have to perform to say you're a "healthy" couple, or to please your partner when you're not really into it.
You’re open about your likes and dislikes.
Let’s be honest. The first times having sex with your partner might be a bit awkward because you don't know what the other person likes. However, moving on from those first uncomfortable times to actually enjoying every moment with them depends on how open you are with your partner about what you like and listening to what they like. You can learn from that feedback to make it a time both of you won’t want to end. Of course, being open doesn’t mean being a jerk when you're telling them how they can improve. Sex implies a certain vulnerability. If you’re going to be open about your likes and dislikes, you have to be respectful and ask for that respect in return.
You're both generous.
Sex isn’t over when one of you has climaxed. Of course, there can be moments in which only one of you is focused on pleasing the other, but the best sessions happen when both of you make an effort to help the other reach an orgasm. For example, when you and your partner follow this rule, you don’t have to ask them for oral sex after you’ve given it to them. They do it willingly because they also want you to have a good time. In other words, for you, sex isn’t selfish.
You live the moment.
When you keep thinking of all the chores you haven’t done, the e-mails you have to send tomorrow, what you want to have for dinner, and other small stuff that stops you from focusing on the moment, it might be a sign that sex isn’t that great. On the contrary, if you’re really into it, you’ll be living the moment at its fullest and, just as I mentioned in previous points, you won’t want it to end. You know this is not the time to think of silly chores and stuff. You can deal with that later.
It's not perfect, and that's what makes it great.
You’re over those expectations about the “perfect” sex scenes you see in movies. You know that sex is messy, but it is that imperfection what makes it so enjoyable. When you get rid of those unrealistic expectations and only focus on the person that’s with you, everything just feels better. Also, you embrace yourself in that imperfection, and that’s one of the greatest requirements for having an excellent time, being comfortable with yourself and your partner.
Don’t be discouraged if some of these signs aren't true for you and your partner. The longer you know them, the better the sex will get. The important thing is being willing to learn and communicate with your partner, so both of you can have a great time.
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