I got a text from your ex, boy
She said to look through your texts, boy
I'm not the kind of girl to snoop but I had a feeling to
And now I'm looking for my next boy
"Text From Your Ex" Tinie Tempah
Temptation is just one click away.
Why do people cheat? Well the why's and how's can go on forever, but every now and then, we spot the same pattern being repeated over and over. Sometimes, when people have been in a relationship for many years, they feel the need of new emotions and experiences with a different person to break away from monotony. One of the main causes for this wandering eye is poor communication between the two parties and the belief that infidelity is the only way to escape from boredom and lack of self-fulfillment.
The main source of infidelity is the dullness caused by routine. However, in many cases, sex is not necessary to make the cheater experience the thrill and excitement that is missing from the relationship. Knowing you're involved in a forbidden situation and the fear of being caught can be enough to release an addictive rush of adrenaline.
A few years ago, the only form of infidelity the world knew involved direct physical contact between two people. Even if both parties were in a relationship, they would seek to rekindle the flames of passion through chance encounters where feelings were off the table.
With the Internet's popularity and extensive use of social media, our lives have completely shifted. A new form of infidelity appeared in the shape of Facebook Gifs and Instagram hearts. Many have argued that's not cheating, while others defend that engaging in a digital relationship causes the same heartache that traditional infidelity.
So how can you deal with digital infidelity when it isn't a tangible thing? It is simply floating in cyberspace, comprised of millions of pixels. Some studies have made a link between pornography and relationship problems. Ana Bridges, associate professor of psychology at the University of Arkansas wrote in the Archives of Sexual Behavior the damaging effects of pornography. Mainstream porn is "overwhelmingly centered on acts of violence and degradation toward women." Studies surrounding the links between the internet and relationships have barely begun.
It is surprising what a Facebook status can do to your relationship status, a simple "in a relationship" post can make a relationship go from something casual to something serious in a heartbeat.
It is logical to say that an interaction with a third party using these networks is cheating. Why? The answer is simple, they cause the same emotional pain as a physical affair. Even if the infidelity takes place in the imagination, there is a desire to have a physical and emotional connection, so one way or another this can be seen as cheating.
If you have the itch to check your partner's phone every time they get a notification, take a step back. Is it worth grabbing their phone and stepping over personal boundaries? Sometimes a confrontation is a must and if openness and trust exist between you, then take a step towards that direction. One thing is certain, the digital era has radically transformed not only the manifestation of love, but the workings of it as well.
Translated by Andrea Valle Gracia