Jealousy is perhaps one of the most nauseating feelings in the emotional spectrum. It makes our blood boil, our stomachs churn, and our heads ache as if we had just been hit by a bus. Yet, it's a feeling that is difficult to soothe, as it makes us start falling down the twisted spiral of speculation which only gets darker every step we fall down. We shouldn't dwell on such a corrosive feeling. It's like lying naked on a tub of poison for days.
If we want this to stop, the only thing we can do is to cut all the shady aspects of our thoughts and walk into the light. To do this, we have to face the possibility that perhaps the person we love has fallen for someone else. As painful as it is, we have to just let them go for the sake of everyone's sanity. If you want to go deep into your lover's mind, you need to start thinking of yourself as a detective and start asking them the right questions at the right time. Only by observing their reactions you'll know if they're keeping a secret from you or if you have been taken prisoner by your own imagination.
Do you always think about me when we kiss?
When we close our eyes and kiss somebody, we always hope it's the person that we hold most dear. Your partner shouldn't hesitate in answering this question. If they're still in love with you, they'll reply only with a heartfelt kiss or a smile. If they don't, cross your fingers and hope they're thinking about a movie star.
What do you like the most about my body?
If you're in love with your partner, you're surely aware of how we all obsess over certain details in a person's body, be it their eyes, curves, or freckles. Perhaps, they have already told you before what part of your body they like the most. If they're still into you, they'll quickly reply and hold you in a warm embrace.
Do you still feel excited to go out with me?
You can't expect all relationships to keep up a constant sense of excitement. But you should always be happy of going out with your partner. Seeing them is supposed to make the hard days bearable while keeping a spring in your step. If your partner no longer feels like this, there's a chance that you're not the reason for their joy anymore.
When did you stop having time so much time for us and so much time for work?
We've all got responsibilities, but we shouldn't dismiss our relationships just because we have a tight schedule. After letting them know how much they have pushed you away from their life, your partner should reflect and start making a bit of space for the both of you.
Why do you keep texting while I'm talking to you?
Being with your lover should be a special moment for both of you to rejoice in the presence of the other. More than a question, this is a call for attention. If they're still into you, they won't hesitate to put their phone away and enjoy your company.
Which of my friends do you find attractive?
This is a tricky question. It all depends on how they react. They can tell you it's none of them and you might believe them, or they can give you a couple of names, but doing it tongue-in-cheek. Just hope they don't get nervous.
Can't you tell I saw you glancing at that person over there?
Everyone gets jealous when they see their partners checking somebody out. However, it's a very natural thing to do. You probably do it too. Hope they take it with humor.
Who would you date if we weren't together?
Clearly, they shouldn't have anyone in mind. If it's not through a very playful tone, you shouldn't settle for any answer that isn't nobody.
I'm out of battery. Could you lend me your phone?
Watch closely how your partner reacts to this petition. Do they act fidgety and awkward? Perhaps, there's something in it that they're trying to keep from you. Go for honesty and ask them about it, too.
What about I drive by your work tomorrow so we can have lunch?
If your partner still has the intention of keeping the relationship afloat, they'll immediately accept your invitation.
Are you still into me as much as we were when we first dated?
Everyone knows that relationships evolve and change throughout the years. But if your partner still wants to be with you, they'll fill you with compliments.
When did you start listening to this type of music? Who introduced you to it?
A drastic change in taste doesn't mean that your lover is cheating on you emotionally, but it's a sign that they're looking for something different. Evaluate if you're willing to change along or if you'll keep clinging to the past.
What do you think are my most likable traits?
This question is a double-edged sword. They could just fill you with sugary compliments or hesitate and say some crap that sounds like it was taken out of a teen magazine. Take note.
Do you feel bored whenever we spend time alone?
If they answer yes, you should ask yourself the same question. Why spend your time with someone who doesn't give you the place you deserve?
How much do you still love me?
No lover should doubt their feelings for their partner. If they hesitate, reply that they don't know, or confess they've fallen for somebody else, you'll realize that now's the time to move on.
It's not easy to know a relationship is over because our partner has fallen for someone else, but there are many ways to find closure for any of our affairs, and besides there are so many great things out there that we can do instead of falling in love.
Images by Merve & Nills (@merveandnils)