Is Your Relationship Making You Lose Friends?
February 28, 2018|Ariel Rodriguez
You don't have to choose one or the other.
I once thought I had lost my best friend to a stranger. This caused a chain of emotions in me that included anger, sadness, and a sense of betrayal. Perhaps my story shares some similarities to yours because this happens to many of us. Although maybe you are the one whose friends are suddenly disappearing from your life, and you have reached the conclusion that your relationship is the one to blame for driving your friends away from your side.
There are a series of steps you can take to correct or prevent this from happening. Although several factors can change in different scenarios, they are usually related to your partner being the problem. Remember that not everyone is likable or can get along with other personalities. If your partner is well accepted within your close group of friends, consider yourself lucky. For those of you who want friendships and a relationship to coexist harmoniously, consider the following:
Make Time For Your Friends
If you wish to keep your friends and your relationship: organize yourself. Do some planning in advance that includes you and your friends only. Hanging out is as important to friendship as to a relationship. When you keep on declining invites from friends, they consider this as a form of absence, and sooner or later, you won’t be included in future plans. Also, don’t bail too often. This causes anger and disappointment. Bringing your S.O. along can be a good idea as long as your friends are okay with that. If your insistence to take your partner with you and the gang makes everyone uncomfortable, you will be excluded from future plans as well.
Keep in Touch
Seeing your friends in person is important, but these moments happen less often the more time you spend with your significant one. That's where the wonders of technology in the 21st century come in: a simple text or social media interaction with your friends can make them feel you care and are there for them.
Nobody Likes a Third Wheel
Yeah, as much fun as you think it would be to take a friend and your S.O. to the park, it really isn't. No matter how much your friends and your partner get along, do everyone a favor, and avoid awkward third-wheel situations.
Don’t Make Them Hate Your Partner
Friends are the shoulder we cry on when we need to. Sometimes you rely on your friends to comfort you when you're sad, angry, or even furious about something your boyfriend/girlfriend did to you. But, unlike you, your friends don’t forget easily, and they can hold onto a grudge because they hate seeing you suffer. Thus, avoid sharing irrelevant details that can turn them against your partner, since this can definitely drive friends away from your side.
Be Mature About It
Relationships can be one of the best things in our lives, and when we find someone who loves us, it's a beautiful experience. If you have trouble with that one friend who believes all relationships are a mistake and that you should just keep partying and stay single forever, maybe you and your friend aren’t as compatible as you thought you were, and a line must be drawn. A good friend will always support you, especially when it comes to your happiness.
According to a study from Oxford University back in 2010, where researchers asked people how many friends they lost after they got into a relationship, many people lose two out of five close friends in their group. Thus, the best way to keep your friends depends on your ability to handle the situation, your significant other’s personality, and how they interact with each other.
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