To lose one's virginity is a rite of passage in the life of almost every human being. Unless you’ve committed your life to celibacy like Isaac Newton or Immanuel Kant, odds are that you have already been through this. If not, you're slowly approaching that coveted moment where you’ll experience sex for the first time.
Most teenagers want to lose their virginity as soon as they hit puberty. It's beyond our control: once our bodies are heated up and flowing in hormonal juices, while our minds are consumed by the insufferable craving of having sex.
It’s all natural, and in a sense, this adolescent burst of kinky thoughts and overwhelming sensations makes us feel more alive than ever (even if it is in a beastly manner). However, we must remember that the ideas our society has developed around virginity, sex, and teenage life are completely artificial and, more often than not, quite detrimental for women.
For instance, the high school film genre has filled the minds of teens with unrealistic expectations of sex by exaggerating the cathartic moment when the characters pop the cherry. Hence, the loss of virginity has become the unwanted climax for the plot line of our teenage years. Yet young women are the ones who suffer this fictionalization of reality the most. It places a lot of pressure and adds to much emotion to a single moment of their lives.
Women are brought up to believe that losing their virginity will define the rest of their lives. Because of this, they want it to be a perfect experience. However, there is no such thing.
The truth is that there's not a lot of advice to help women completely forget the unrealistic expectations they have for sex. That being said, here are a few pieces of advice that may come in handy to someone who's looking forward to losing her virginity anytime soon.
Foreplay is essential for any successful attempt at intercourse. Kindle the mood by caressing and kissing your partner. It's up to you to settle the rhythm.
Set a Mood
Human bodies are imperfect, and they don’t look as perfect as movies portray them. Set a warm light lamp in your room to make it cozier or turn the lights off and enshroud yourself in intimacy.
Respect Your Body and Your Partner’s
Don’t Try Porn Moves
Porn attempts to portray sex in a visually pleasing way. Because of this, most of the positions you see in these movies won’t work for any of you in real life.
Remind Your Partner to Be Gentle
Sex is an act of sharing, but many people do it selfishly. If your partner is taking things to fast, remind them to take things more tenderly. Otherwise, none of you will feel any pleasure at all.
Orgasms Are Hard to Get
Almost nobody reaches orgasm during their first time. Don’t feel frustrated if you don’t manage to climax. You’re just getting started.
Bring Your Sense of Humor
Seriously, use a condom. Nobody wants to have a baby so young or catch an STI after just one session of sex.
Remember It’s No Big Deal
Even if our culture tells you that losing your virginity is the most important moment of your teen years, it's definitely not. Just try to enjoy yourself while you're at it!
Sexualidad y Cultura
Images by Katch Silva