It’s very common to read or listen to the word “prenup” every time a celebrity couple gets engaged. These prenups can be as wise and prudent as ridiculous. They vary, from clauses stating that one must pay an insane amount of money for the years spent in the marriage, to really strange and over the top points like paying for every pound of weight they gain, or even cheating. Although this sounds as something that happens only in Hollywood, prenups have been around for thousands of years with other names; does the word “engagement” ring any bells? For years people have recurred to these agreements as a way to protect their assets, but if you think about it, it’s nothing more than a set of rules to avoid surprises and have things clear from the get go.
It’s like Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, who creates written agreements for every relationship in his life. Well, that’s kind of extreme, but I have to agree with him in the emotional security and tranquility that comes when all the cards are laid on the table. Here are some rules every couple should state at an early point in their relationship to make things crystal clear between them. I know, it might sound crazy and unnecessarily obsessive, but you’ll see these will help you prevent misunderstandings. Personal friendships are important and must be respected
The golden rule in any relationship is not forcing change upon anyone. The moment you force someone to change then you know that relationship is doomed. Never neglect your friends and never allow another person to drag you into a tug of war between them and your circle of friends.
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Privacy is a must
Well, that’s self-explanatory. Sometimes we tend to feel that being in a relationship means that the other person has to be aware of every aspect of our private life, but that’s not the case.
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No one should meddle or poke their nose in your relationship
“No one” means absolutely no one, like friends, family, and people outside the relationship. It may sound cliché, but your privacy is your most valuable good, and if there are issues to solve, then that’s between the two of you.
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Respect the person’s need for space
It’s the same as with privacy, being together and in love doesn’t mean that you have to spend all the time with that person. You have the right to spend time on your own. Don’t burst someone else’s bubble if you want your own bubble to be intact.
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Set the social media rules
That’s one rule we didn’t have to take into consideration a few years ago. Nowadays our lives are divided into social media and reality. When setting the ground rules of the relationship, you must take into account your social media life. Do you want to say you’re in a relationship? Do you want people on Social Media to know?
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Don’t ask deeply personal questions so early in the game
Not because you’re together means you have to share everything about your life at this stage. It’s okay to keep things for yourself and that person can’t demand to know things you don’t want to share so early in the relationship.
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No mind games
This is related to the previous point. There’s nothing romantic about a person wanting to know everything about your life. Mind games are generally used to either control the other person or find a way to get the desired information.
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Don’t drag them into your quirksWe all have quirks, you just don’t have to drag the other person into the melee so early on. Ease them into your own quirks and they’ll do the same.
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Don’t compare them to your Ex!
This one should be implicit, but sadly it’s quite common to compare previous relationships to the person you’re currently with.
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Each one earns their own money and is entitled to spend it as they like
This is a crucial rule in a relationship: both of you must have financial and social independence.
You can’t force someone to family gatherings and vice versa
You’re just starting your relationship so you don’t really have to feel obliged to attend those gatherings that might feel a bit uncomfortable for you. Now, if you have a great relationship with their relatives and you would like to go, then there’s no problem. This includes hanging out with your partner’s friends.
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These rules apply to everyone and I believe that if you want a healthy relationship, communication is key. If you set the ground rules and you clearly delineate the boundaries then you both will feel comfortable and secure in the relationship.
So, what are your rules?
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Sources:
Huffington Post