I guess most people have gone through a breakup. Regardless of the consequences or how amicable it was, 99% of the time it’s a difficult moment to endure. You become vulnerable and feel a void inside, as well as a bit of guilt. Your self-esteem goes down, and your mind rambles from one idiotic thought to the next. Yeah, we’re not at our most eloquent or logical when we’re going through a breakup. We remember those romantic sitcoms or movies in which the protagonist suffers from heartbreak and secludes herself in her room eating ice cream or drinking wine while watching another rom-com and crying because she relates to the story (very meta), and we think it’s a great idea to overcome our own sadness. At the same time, all those near you will try to cheer you up and encourage you to get out of the house and do random stuff to forget about that person you loved so much. Oh, I just thought about another classic thing you face during this time: people around you trying to set you up with a friend, recommending one-night, or simply telling you to get over it.
These are only a few of the many pieces of advice we receive when we’re dealing with this nasty situation. And the truth is that these tend to come from people who don’t get what you’re going through. They’re probably just picturing you as one of these movie characters instead of trying to understand what’s really hurting you. Most of the time, the breakup isn’t the real problem. It probably was the right thing to do, but you feel down because you were used to the relationship, to that person, your routine, and so on. So, the most important thing to bear in mind is that each person reacts differently to these situations and that you must really do what you feel is best. Here are some tips to help you deal with your breakup.
Give yourself some time to mourn your loss
As we mentioned, your friends will immediately want you to go out and have some fun to distract you from your sorrow. But the thing is that by doing so you might just be concealing the pain. For me, the process involves giving myself time to cry it all out to get all that pain out of my system. I mean, it’s not really going to go away in a couple of days, but allowing yourself to cry, smash things, or whatever immediate reaction you may have, really helps with the healing process. Afterwards, you can go out with your friends and party all night long.
Have some solo moments to meditate
In the same way, once you’ve had some time to mourn and feel bad about yourself, it’s quite helpful to devote some of your time to think. Consider those those things that make you feel special, pamper yourself with love, and really think about how your goals and needs. Some might tell you to turn the page, but I really think that meditating on what happened can help you see the mistakes you or your partner did so that you don’t repeat them.
Take long walks
If you start feeling like being secluded in your room is asphyxiating and not helping you to move on, it’s really helpful to take long walks alone. Go to all those streets, parks, and places you like, but make sure that it’s a long walk. One of the things about walking by yourself is that your mind connects with what you’re seeing, and in the same way, without forcing it, your mind starts meditating and analyzing any given situation. This can really help you with the previous point.
Take a trip by yourself
Many people will invite you to go on trips with them as a distraction. But, as we already mentioned, the best thing to do after breaking up with someone is to spend some time by yourself. If everything back home reminds you of that person and it’s making it hard for you to move on, why not take a solo trip? I know it might be a little bit scary and intimidating, but I’ve done it and traveling on my own has proven to be one of the most rewarding and transformative experiences.
Do all those things that make you happy
Once you’re over the mourning period and meditating process, engage in all those activities you’ve always wanted to do or that you enjoy so much. Short periods of satisfaction won’t automatically make you heal, but they will definitely give you that boost you need to continue the process.
Get yourself some nice things
This might sound shallow and vain, but there’s no point in denying that buying things can be quite therapeutic. Again, it’s not that spending all your money will erase that terrible experience you went through. But you deserve to treat yourself in every possible way, regardless of whether it’s something as superficial as getting nice things.
Getting over a relationship can be one of the most challenging moments in our lives. It can be so painful that sometimes it makes us wonder what it would be like if we had a shield or some kind of medicine to avoid heartbreak. But since that doesn’t exist, the best way is to think about the things that make us happy and do them. Get a tattoo that reminds you of how special and strong you can be, go get a makeover, cry yourself out if you feel like it… Do what you feel to recover from that nasty episode in your life, and move on.
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Images by @clairehartphoto
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