Sex is supposed to be fun.
Yet, sometimes we let ourselves succumb to pressure and self-consciousness. Sometimes, we’re so focused on looking good that we actually forget that we’re supposed to enjoy it. Also, we might try to pull off moves that we saw in a movie, and we just end up hurting ourselves. Worst case scenario: we’re just viscerally disliking the experience, and we just don’t dare to say it. God knows why we do it, but we do it. We rather let ourselves be taken by disgust instead of just saying what we’re really feeling. Maybe we do it because we don’t want to hurt the other person. Perhaps, we’re trying to convince ourselves that we are actually enjoying it. However, as the happy punk Green Day hit from back in 1994 would say, “you can’t go forcing something if it’s just not right.”
These are all the things you dislike about sex, but you’re too afraid to say.
I hate going down on you when you’re wearing a flavored condom. It’s tacky and disgusting.
I like to moan during sex, but I have to keep it down because you don’t want to wake up your parents.
There’s nothing that I hate more than having to wait for my period to know if I’m pregnant. It kills me with anxiety.
I hate that you’re trying to convince me to have a threesome.Quickies don’t turn me on.
When you play porn in your computer, you’re only drying me up. Why do you never want to try anything new? Your cum tastes like flies.
When you scratch my back, I feel like I’m having sex with a cat.
Your penis should know that my throat is not a water slide. Don’t ask me if I’m liking it. Focus on the action!
It’s so prudish that you always turn off the lights. Let me see your beautiful naked body for once!
That romantic piano music makes my stomach churn. I need some dirtier vibes to get in the mood.
Fast-track sex doesn’t get to me. Why don’t you try take things nice and slow? I can always tell when you’re faking an orgasm. You’re fooling no one but yourself.
I can always tell when you’re getting bored.
Why are you always expecting me to take the first move? Show some sexy initiative! Don’t bore by trying to make it last longer. I’m begging for this to end.
I hate we always have to plan out our sexy time. A little bit of spontaneity would make for spicier, unpredictable sex.
Why do we always have to do this in the exact same spot? A change would be so good.
Don’t pick up your cellphone during foreplay, douche.
Stop asking me to make noise during sex. You do know porn’s fake, right?
Don’t be upset that I came so early. I can keep this going all night long.
Stop the talking. Show, don’t tell. You’re sucking on me like a vacuum cleaner, chill out. If you try to take pictures of me one more time, I’ll call your mother right away and tell her how much of a pervert you really are.
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Images by Jesse Herzog (@jesseherzog)
Remember sex is supposed to be enjoyable, so it’s all about having healthy mutual pleasure. Discover new ways to arouse yourself by reading about the 7 points that make sexting a safe and sensual experience or you can figure out if you’re trapped in a Vanilla sex rut.
