We give way too much importance to sex, and why wouldn’t we? I mean, it’s one of the most pleasurable experiences we can have, right? Although I couldn’t agree more with that, the truth is that for many, sex is considered as an essential basic need. So, naturally, we consider dry spells as negative things in our life. Starting with the term “dry spell”. It sounds terrible, as if it were a punishment. Do you imagine not having sex for a long time? According to the Kinsey Institute from Indiana University, dry spells are common in both women and men of all ages. It’s normal, not a curse. Now, there’s an endless list of reasons behind dry spells, that can go from choice to some condition that prevents an individual from having sex. We’ve seen it everywhere. From movies to real life, the stigma of sexless periods still prevail. However, these are natural events in life from which we can learn many things and help us reevaluate our lives. Here, for instance, are five lessons we can all learn from dry spells:
You focus more on yourself
This is kind of obvious. It’s not that all your life is based on sex, but sometimes we prioritize it so much that we lose track of other important aspects and moments. When sex is not part of our routine, we start appreciating other things we like and enjoy in life in new ways.– You evaluate your own worth
Although many base their confidence on how much sex they have, the truth is that basing our worth on other people’s opinions makes our self-appreciation disappear. Being on a sex dry spell can really help you value yourself more and understand that you’re valuable. Not because of what people think or how many times you hook up with someone, but for who you are.– You appreciate intimacy more
Whether we’re in a relationship where sex is part of the routine or if we engage in casual sex, we start normalizing intimacy, since we perceive it as a regular activity in our life. However, when we’re deprived of sex for a determined period of time, we can start appreciating the worth and importance of it in our life. Valuing your intimacy will not only guarantee the quality of your next sexual relationship, but will also help you distinguish when is the ideal time to have sex and with whom.
–You value other things about your life
Besides focusing more on ourselves, not perceiving sex as a pillar of our life can help us appreciate so many things like our career, our friends, our family, or a hobby. Being on a dry spell is not a synonym of being alone or not experiencing sexuality. There are so many ways to explore our drives without having to engage in sexual activity. – You discover other passions
Obviously, there are many levels of sexuality and how we perceive it. While there are extreme cases of people who base most of their life on sex, we can’t deny that most of us conceive it as a foundation of our life. When we start focusing on other things, we realize that passion is not necessarily related to sex, but a matter of satisfaction, which can come from other fulfilling things and activities.
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It’s important to bear in mind that not because you’re not having sex right now it means there’s something wrong with you. We should really stop thinking of sex as an activity that defines us. More importantly, we must understand that there are endless things we can do to fulfill our deepest desires without actually having sex. So next time –because there will be a next time– you find yourself on a dry spell, try focusing on other aspects of your life. You’ll see it’s not as bad as we think.
***Images by: @zippyseven
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Sources:
Mic
Men’s Journal
