You might love their energy and fun-loving attitude, but are they really the kind of person you want to be with?
The best way to find out if you’ve grown up and matured is to read children's classics or to watch the films you used to love as a kid, and see if you've changed your mind about the characters. I, for instance, used to love and idolize Peter Pan when I was a kid, but now, I totally understand Captain Hook and his hatred for that obnoxious kid.
Peter Pan is a great story because we all have a part of us that resists growing up every day, so we relate to Peter and root for him. However, growing up is inevitable, and we all have to go through it, so hanging on to that wish to stay young forever stops being cute and funny after a while, and becomes lame instead. So, if you’re putting in the work to grow up and move on to new and exciting chapters in your life, why would you stay with someone who refuses to do the same? If you’re reading this post, it’s probably because your boyfriend belongs to the Peter Pan-manchild sector of the population, who believes that their teens were the best time of their lives, and refuse to let that period go. If that’s the case, let me tell you that the forecast for your relationship is not good. So, here are some signs that will help you realize what’s going on with this guy.
You’re always exhausted after being with him
Ok, I’m talking about exhaustion, and not for a good reason, if you know what I mean. What I’m going to say might be a bit disturbing, but it has to be said. What happens is that manchildren tend to see their partners as some sort of maternal figure. For that reason, they end up being quite dependent on you, while at the same time, see the relationship as restraining, which only makes it harder to build a healthy one. If every time you hang out with them, you end up mentally exhausted, you’re not dealing with an adult, but rather a child that you must take care of.
He doesn’t seem to have priorities
In a healthy, mature relationship, you're supposed to have shared goals and dreams you work on together to make them come true. However, when you’re dating a manchild, this isn’t what drives your relationship. These men tend to have selfish ideas of what they want in their life, and the relationship is only something for them to have fun and have a good time, which can be great for a while, but not if you want a future with them.
He’s really impulsive
Being impulsive isn’t always a negative trait. On the contrary, sometimes that’s the attitude we need to achieve our goals and act on what we want in our life. However, sometimes it can be a clear sign that the person you’re with might not be in the same emotional and mental level you’re in, and this could lead to inevitable failure. The problem with being impulsive when you’re not mature enough is that you tend to follow those urges without thinking about the consequences of your actions, and for that reason, you can end up hurting those around you just because you don’t picture them in their plans.
This encapsulates everything I’ve been talking about. I think it’s great to be with someone who values their youth and wants to have fun; at the end of the day, that’s what life should be about, having a great time. But most of the time, this ends up being for their own benefit, as basically everything they do, even in bed, for god’s sake!
You’re always the one who makes plans
Again, since they’re only focused on their own well-being and interests, it’s most likely that you’re the one who makes plans to spend time together. Now, this doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s not into you or that he doesn’t have feelings for you, it’s just that, for them, having fun and doing what they want is their only priority, and since they already know you’re committed to them, they just won’t bother to make plans. In my opinion, it’s a clear sign that the relationship isn’t going anywhere.
He’s afraid of commitment
This one is obvious. Commitment pretty much means maturing and growing up, something that they avoid at all costs. I’m not talking only about getting married, having kids, or anything like that: I’m talking about any kind of commitment, even the emotional kind. If you’re in the relationship for fun, it’s ok, but if you’re in it for the long run, then let me tell you you're in for a disappointment because they might never be willing to take that step.
Sometimes we fall for a person and don’t want to see that they’re not exactly the best person to be with. We all talk about toxic relationships and mean partners, but actually, being with a manchild is another less-common form of toxicity that can end up consuming you in a failed relationship. Part of being mature and growing up is also realizing what’s best for us despite our feelings, and if you’re with someone that’s not taking you anywhere, perhaps you should consider what you value the most, and make some important decisions.
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Images by @jeanphilippelebee