The infinite number of stupid questions people ask on dates makes me wonder, why do people feel its ok to ask them in the first date?
First dates aren’t easy, more so if you have never met the other person. Me? I stopped worrying about finding a good -possible-partner for a long term relationship; nowadays I get a full body armor (mentally, it is) in preparation for the avalanche of lame and stupid questions and conversations. It would seem like people think that just because we share a certain hobby or preference (hello, FroYo!), we know each other to the point where they can comment -and criticize- my life, and they expect me to care about their opinions. The nerve of some people! No, random person that kind of slightly appeals to the type of people I like, you’re not entitled to say or ask anything you want just because you think you know me on SM. We all know the feeling. I compiled the following list with the help of friends who shall remain anonymous for obvious reasons. Enjoy! And cringe!
Are you on Tinder?
Just don’t. Seriously, why would you ask someone if they’re on any dating app? First, if you met them there, you already know and if not, what would you do with that piece of information. I am, so what? If this somehow managed to work out (though after that question, I doubt it) I’d consider to stop using it, or not, but right now it’s none of your business.
Did your profile pic had a filter?
I love this question. It's so problematic I don't even know where to begin. It’s like the classic “oh, you look nice even without makeup,” or the horrible “you look good when you dress up.” It’s that not so subtle way of telling the other person that they don’t look as nice as they do on their profile picture. I mean, why would you say that? Again, what’s the answer you’re expecting?
Do you make good money?
I get that for some people that is an important piece of information in relation with a possible significant other, but not even my parents are allowed to know that! Why would I share that fact with a stranger? Not to mention it sounds quite sketchy, and I would totally see it as a big fat red light.
Why are you single?
Well, maybe it’s because of pricks like you asking all sorts of disrespectful and stupid questions. Honestly, this question is telling you right away that somehow you’re doing something wrong, as if being in a relationship was a life goal. Or, it might be that they are trying to see the flaws in you, and figuring out why you’re not relationship material. Either way, it’s something you don’t ask people, not in the first date.
Why are you wearing so much makeup?
Remember what we said about the profile pic situation? Same damn thing! Let’s make things clear, if I’m wearing makeup or not it’s my business, not yours. I have news for you: people don’t wear makeup to impress others, we wear it because we like it. Are we clear?
Do you want to get married?
This happened to me. At first, I was confused and replied it wasn’t in my plans, but after analyzing the entire date, I couldn’t help but laugh about how lame this was. This person wanted to know what my life plans were, not to see if I was looking for a long or stable relationship, but actually to see if I was the kind of submissive person that saw marriage as the ultimate life goal and would give up everything for it. I do believe that unless you’re already in a stable relationship with someone and you want to see where things are going, it’s a question you'd be wise to avoid.
How many partners have you had?
Again, it’s none of your business if I had just one or a hundred. Are you dating them? No, right? Then you don’t care. Like the last one, I strongly believe these questions are kind of a passive-aggressive technique to try to “morally” define you, and something that starts like that doesn’t seem to have a very bright future.
When will we have sex?
Though I appreciate the bluntness, asking that could probably be interpreted as being creepy. If it’s going to happen, it’s going to happen; asking it out of the blue will not ensure it happening, most probably the exact opposite.
Do you always drink this much?
Ha ha, I loved this one so much because it shows so much honesty but at the same time is so wrong in so many levels that you can’t but laugh. Some free dating advice, if someone is drinking too much it might not be because they have a drinking problem, most likely they’re just trying to make the best of the situation. No, but seriously, do not approach anyone you don’t know well and point their excesses or habits. Again: none of your business.
Is this a date?
Last but definitely the worst of all first date questions ever! The queen of date stupidity! Let me tell you something, those who ask this are nothing but douchebags. Seriously, there’s no way of misunderstanding something this basic unless they want to.
Dating has become such a hard enterprise and not because there aren’t good prospects out there, but because the dating culture has changed so much. Mark my words, it won’t take long until old-style dating will be back again, not excited about that, but probably will be a good change of attitudes. Stupid questions have always existed, but like so many things, these examples just take it too far.
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