Your 20s are the best time of your life to figure out who you are and what you want.
Until very recently, marriage was considered to be one of the main goals we should have in our lives. So, though today that’s not precisely the case for everybody, there are still many who believe that getting married is one of the biggest achievements you can have. For me, that's never been the case, so when my friends and people close to me talk about how much they want to do it and even say that they know at what age they want to do it, I can’t help but think of all the many things they could be doing with their life rather than get married. Why would you want to make such a big commitment when you’re at the peak of your life? I mean, how can you know at this age that this person is really the one you want to spend “the rest of your life” with? The following is a really long (though not even close to being complete) list of all the things that make more sense than tying the knot in your 20s.
1. Meeting new people
2. Traveling as much as you can
4. Exploring your city
5. Partying the night away
6. Quitting that job you hate
While it’s true that not everybody has a miserable job, it’s also true that we are raised to get that perfect job right after university and go on with our adult life. Well, sometimes in our eagerness to follow that perfect life path, we forget to live our lives and try new things as much as we can. There’s no competition. Take a gap year and travel as much as you can; you’ll have plenty of time to be an adult and follow that career path later.
7. Hook up with people
8. Spend money on things you really want
9. Hang out with your friends as much as you want
10. Make every day "me day"
11. Sleep for hours
12. Get your own place
I strongly believe that for a marriage to work out you need to know how to be an independent person, and one of the ways you can do so is by getting your own place. It’s not that you have to live alone (you can have roommates), but try not to depend on your parents economically or emotionally. This is really a big step that makes a lot of sense and that can actually help us grow as people.
13. Get a pet
14. Practice your hobbies
15. Take yourself on dates
16. Dare to date outside of your "type"
17. Miss one day of work /school
18. Explore your body
Basically, everywhere you look, you'll find people advising you to hook up and sleep with lots of people people before considering marriage because that’s the only way to really know other realities and possibilities. I kind of agree with that, but before even thinking about that, I’d say that exploring your own body is much more important.
19. Get your heart broken
20. Look for your calling
21. Learn to be alone
22. Allow yourself to fail
23. Become financially independent
24. Face your biggest fears
We all have fears, and whether if they’re rational or irrational, there comes a time in our lives when we have to at least try facing them. For me, this is perhaps one of the crucial moments in life, and I strongly believe this is something that has to be done in our youth to try having a healthier and more stable adulthood. Of course, you might need professional help to do so, but seriously, with many of these fears, the sooner you deal with them, the better.
25. Try a crazy hairstyle
26. Move to another country
27. Learn a new language
29. Leave your regrets behind
30. Date as much as you can
Last but definitely not least, date as much as you can. I know it’s a cliché, but there are literally tons of fish on the sea and you might be missing a big one in your urge to find someone to marry at the same time as you figure out your life. Or, perhaps not, but at least you'll have experienced more and this will help you know yourself better, for instance, what you want or don't want in a relationship, which should be a rule before committing to someone.
To be honest, it’s true that you can do most of these while being married. However, I do believe that we’re still learning so much in our twenties and we have so much ahead of us, that committing to something this important and serious is like depriving yourself of all these amazing moments in our lives.
Don’t miss these:
Illustrations by Mr. Tokki