5 Toxic Thoughts You Start Having After Being Single For A Long Time

April 20, 2018

|Ariel Rodriguez
thoughts you start having after being single

Being single doesn't equate loneliness, it never has, it is a phase in your life where you can explore yourself and the relationships that surround you.

Does your relationship status on Facebook appear as "single?" How long has it been that way and most importantly, do you actually care? Most of us crave companionship, someone to share secrets with, talk over the phone for long hours, and spend sunny afternoons cuddling in the park. When we've been single for a long time some thoughts begin to creep in and we begin to worry and ask ourselves what's wrong with us and when will we finally meet someone. These thoughts can affect your self-esteem, confidence, and actual chances of finding love. Most of these opinions happen unconsciously and it's a matter of pushing them our of your mind and putting a stop to their influence over you.



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"I’ll never find love again"


Disappointment is one of the first emotions we start to experience when we haven't been in a relationship for a long time. We feel emptiness inside when thinking about the future, and the prospect of not having an emotional connection with someone else. This thought should be banished from your mind because love isn't something you jot down in your calendar. Don't worry about the "whens" or "hows," a relationship will come to you eventually, just give yourself some time to enjoy the things that fulfill you and make you happy as a person.



"I’m undateable"


No you are not. Dating someone is a big step for many people and not everyone is ready to put in the effort or time. Also, it can take guts to walk up to someone and sometimes you have to build that confidence in order to feel secure talking to someone you feel attracted to. Sometimes we are so immersed in ourselves and these toxic thoughts that we miss out on the interest other people may have towards us. Let your guard down for a moment and allow others to see the beautiful individual you are.



"I’m not cute enough"


It’s happens that when you notice that you've been single for some time that you start theorizing that one of the reasons may be because of your appearance. This isn't the case. Physical appearance isn't the end all be all, there are so many variables that play into this. When you feel good in your own skin or at least you recognize your faults and strive to work them through, you can clearly see what kind of partner you want and what kind of partner you want to be as well. First thing's first, have you asked yourself what you want in a relationship? If you haven't then perhaps that's why you've felt quite lost, by answering this question first you'll see a light at the end of the tunnel.



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"Will I ever get married and start a family?"



There's no right age to start a family or get married. It's such a needless stereotype that apparently women feel pressured to marry when they see their close circle of friends getting hitched. Marriage and family planning are two of the greatest commitments you'll ever make if that's what you desire. Don't rush things, there's no perfect age, there's only perfect timing.



"Happy couples are so annoying"



This thought is probably the most innocuous and surprisingly dangerous as well. It means you're not addressing your negativity and you're likely turning your back on love. Learn to appreciate the love other people share, even if you're not on the receiving end. Celebrate, praise, and embrace these relationships that surround you because those are the most positive relationships out there. If you surround yourself with positive feelings then you'll also attract positive people.



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Finding a committed relationship can't be found from one day to the next, it has to be built. The most important element once you let go of all these toxic thoughts is what actions are you taking to change things around? It can be small actions like going out for drinks with a group of friends to joining a dating app. Oh! And when it happens, you're welcome to change your FB status to "in a relationship."



See other relationship article here:

5 Ways To Tell Someone You're Not Interested

6 Relationship Betrayals That Have Nothing To Do With Cheating And Are Just As Painful

Here's What You Should Say If They Ask You If You're Girlfriend Material


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Images by @monicagarridomx

Ariel Rodriguez

Ariel Rodriguez


Creative Writer
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