If you thought "The Long Night" was the longest episode so far, you couldn’t be more. This week’s Game of Thrones episode felt it would go on forever, so here’s a more dynamic recap of what happened in case you snoozed a bit.
Game of Thrones has always been quite obscure as a series, and last week’s episode was definitely the darkest of them all (literally). After a bloody massacre, we lost tons and tons of random characters we never even met. And we, unfortunately, also lost those who had a special place in our hearts: Ser Jorah, Lyanna Mormont, Beric Dondarrion, Edd "Something" from the Night's Watch, and poor Theon (may them all rest in peace). All in all, it wasn’t the carnage we were led to believe and had to prepare emotionally for. And then again, this episode wasn’t as nail-biting as we thought it would be.
We all knew the fourth episode of this season eight was going to be all about getting ready for the final battle (unless it's not the final battle?), and that it wouldn’t have featured as much of the action as last episode, but, darn it, did it had to be this boring? In case you snoozed at some point, here are the really important moments. Spoiler alert: those who needed to get laid did get laid, while others just were gossiping around with one another.
Ghost is fine!
We said our final goodbyes to some real MVP characters.
Gendry gets Lorded so hard
Gendry is no longer a Rivers; his fashion police days are over. Sorry, Joan.
Daenerys realizes she's not doing well in the election polls
#JulianCastro has better chances.
Tormund is all of us when being drunk and heartbroken
But Arya is like: "I'm an independent trained assassin who don't need no man."
Brienne and Jamie totally did it
Tension amounts between the Targaryens
He's better and she knows it. Yet, he still knows nothing.
Ghost is gone
And we're losing comic-relief Tormund with him.
Sansa is NOT going to be a bridesmaid at Dany's wedding
Yeah, they're not exactly friends.
The Last Starks have an intense reunion, not to say intervention
Dude, what part of don't tell anyone did you not get?
Bronn is getting his castle one way or another
Someone get this man a damn castle!
Rhaegal gets hit by a bunch of arrows and dies
This is not a drill: we're running out of Dragons!
Euron gets sh*t done in 5 seconds
By the way, they have Missandei.
Varys after 8 season: Yeap, Dany is not right for the job
Varys, when you're right, you're right.
Brienne finds love but loses it after just a couple glorious nights
Girl, you should have picked Tormund!
Emotional speech between brother and sister
There's still some good in Cersei. But not really.
The Mountain beheads Missandei
Drogon: How 'bout no!
Daenerys goes full Mad Queen
"I have a bad feeling about this."
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