Would You Hire A Break Up Service To Do The Ghosting For You?
30 de octubre de 2017Andrea Mejía
With this break up service, you avoid the ugly side of ending a relationship without ghosting. But what are the implications of this?
One of the things that has turned the internet into a double-edged sword is the fact that we have become too comfortable. For instance, we no longer have to look for information in a heavy and dusty encyclopedia. All we need to do is consult our savior, St. Google, and we can everything we were looking for in less than a minute. However, this comfort zone has also given many people the opportunity to be douchebags without any consequences. Think of cyberbullying, hacking, using other's personal data, and all the other horrible things people do under the protection of anonymity the internet provides. However, what happens when someone you know, or worse, someone you are in a relationship with, uses the internet as a shield to avoid meeting you?
By now, I’m sure you've heard about ghosting, a (sadly) popular trend of suddenly disappearing from the social media and life of your partner instead of breaking up. The thing that's really awful about ghosting, besides not breaking up with the person, is that the sudden disappearance of a partner is sure to scare the hell out of the ghosted person. If the person you’re with suddenly stops answering your calls and text messages, and doesn't give you any signs of life at all, you're going to worry about them, right? That is until you hear they were seen at a friend’s party, or you see a photo of them with their new boo on social media.
The importance social media has gained in our lives has made this problem more frequent, so more and more people are concerned with the causes and effects of this trend. Because of this, a group of young entrepreneurs decided to combat ghosting's lack of closure and, of course, profit from it. How? By creating an online service that does the dirty job of breaking up for you. You can choose to do it via DM or email, and for some extra bucks, it can be via letter, a phone call, or a mix of these, including a few treats for the newly single person. Now, you might think it isn’t as bad as it sounds, because in fact you would actually be breaking up with the person. However, it's still so impersonal, because when I say that you pay for a text message to break up with your partner, it’s not like the company writes the message for you and you send it. No, it’s a message or a phone call from the company informing the person that you’ve decided to end the relationship.
When I first heard about this service, besides making sure it was actually true and not some sick joke, many questions came to mind. First, does this service in fact solve the problem of ghosting? How is this different from vanishing from the life of your partner out of the blue because you didn’t want to see them and officially break up with them? If we could find the “bright side” of this service, at least you’re letting the person know that their partner doesn’t want to continue with the relationship rather than not telling them anything and letting them find that out weeks or months later. In that sense, there is some “closure.” Nonetheless, this way of ending the relationship still lacks the emotional depth there should be in an "ideal" break up, if we may call it that. And I’m talking about both parties in the relationship. For instance, if you’re the one they’ve broken up with, there is no chance of replying or asking what went wrong. You just know your relationship has ended, and that’s it. On the other hand, when you’re the person that does the breaking up, you don’t allow yourself to face your own feelings by meeting the person face to face and accepting your responsibility in the end of the relationship.
Now, the company is really willing to help provide at least some sort of closure when it comes to ghosting, and perhaps their super blunt messages are better than not knowing what happened with the person you were dating. However, I still find it really sad that we’d have that instead of demanding true closure. Moreover, this service is still oriented to the ones who ghost, not the ghosted. I know there’s “pampering” services, like the treat pack, but still, I can’t really understand why you would bother to pay for an entire package to treat your future ex instead of saving a few bucks and simply telling them it’s over, even if it's just a phone call or text.
This service sounds pretty tempting, though, if you’re breaking up with a jerk or a toxic person that you know would not take it well if you actually met them in person to do it. In the end, breaking up isn’t a one-size-fits-all situation. But still, the core logic behind this service is giving the one who breaks up the comfort of knowing they’ve broken up with someone without doing the dirty job or recurring to ghosting them. But again, it’s hiding behind to the numbing and dehumanizing sanctuary that the internet offers us to shield ourselves from ugly and uncomfortable things, like being responsible for our acts.