No matter your reasons, sometimes in the middle of the party you know you have to sober up and fast. Here are the most effective methods that have worked for me.
Sorry to spoil the fun but it turns out that coffee doesn't sober you up, it's a myth according to the BBC. Yes, I think we've all chugged down scalding coffee and done beeline to the toilet hoping we make it in time. We all have tricks up our sleeves when it comes to sobering up but no one has bothered to see if they really work and if they make any sense.
When alcohol is in our bloodstream after a couple of hours we start feeling sleepy and tired, which is why nodding off in the middle of the party can be a common thing. So, while drinking coffee does keep you awake, sadly it doesn't help sober you up, you'll still be drunk as you were before that cup of joe.
More than just being a useless myth, drinking coffee while drunk can actually be dangerous. We've all heard the horror stories of mixing energy drinks and alcohol, stories I sometimes overlook as a great fan of Jägerbombs. Beyond the unhealthy ingredients found in those potent drinks, caffeine boosts your energy levels making you less aware of the effects of alcohol in your system. So, you’re more likely to make really bad (not to say stupid) decisions that could end up harming you.
So, what can you really do if you want to sober up fast? Call it an emergency, or just a way to avoid a terrible hangover the next day, these tricks will come in handy. So, take notes, perhaps a beer, and let’s get started.
Good carbs and fats
Unlike coffee, it’s been proven that eating carbs and fats can really help reduce the alcohol levels in your bloodstream (besides, who doesn’t love having a snack after a party?). Carbs help slow down the absorption of alcohol so it doesn’t really hit you that bad. As for fats, they help create some sort of coat in your stomach, which also prevents alcohol from being absorbed faster. As an extra tip, eating this before sleeping will also help reduce the hangover effects. So, hello burgers and fries!
It might sound weird, but this beautiful and strange flower (not that strange if you’re in Scotland) can be a miracle substance if you want to sober up really fast. You can get it at local markets or even at some stores as processed tea, extract, or even pills. So what does this do? Milk thistle is a natural detox substance that helps clean the liver. Although it’s recommendable to consume this regularly, it also helps sober you up and prevents hangovers. It helps your liver work better, and thus it will process alcohol faster and more efficiently.
Well, this is an oldie but a goodie to avoid hangovers. Now, it’s not that you’re going to start a cardio routine in the middle of the party, but you can actually dance the alcohol away. When we exercise, our blood flows faster, helping the liver process the alcohol.
Again, this one’s a classic and we've all done it. You feel instantly better after throwing up and the science behind it isn't incredibly complicated. When we vomit, we expel all the toxins found in alcohol and that’s why we feel better right away.
Ok, don't start rolling your eyes...there's an explanation. While sex is an excellent form of exercise, its impact goes way beyond that. When we’re in love, our body produces oxytocin. According to a research made by the Universities of Sydney and Regensburg, this hormone works as a barrier that prevents alcohol from entirely reaching your bloodstream. So, these scientists claim that in the future they might be able to create a miracle pill that will help you sober up in a matter of minutes. Awesome, right?
Some will tell you that if you need to sober up fast, you shouldn’t be drinking that much in the first place. But that’s BS; we all know that sometimes we’re so involved in the party environment that we don’t really get to measure how much we drink. And there’s also the chance you actually want to get really drunk and recover fast, so what?
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Images by @cirogalluccio