Breaking up is hard for both parties. So, if you’re thinking about calling it a day on your relationship, don’t make things harder than they have to be. Do it in a way that is respectful of the other person.
So, just to be clear as to what is and isn’t a good way to break up, let’s go through the worst (yet real) ways people break up with their partners.
Ghosting
Let’s start with this utterly disrespectful and mindblowingly common way of breaking up that you should avoid at all costs. Ok, you can try it if the other person is truly very horrible as a human being. But if that’s not the case, and you ghost your partner all of a sudden, even if you’ve only gone on one date, then consider yourself a useless, shady, and deceitful douche who lacks character. Ghosting is wrong. It confuses people, and it’s inconsiderate of the other person’s feelings. Don’t do it.
@fionamicropig
Fading
Fading is like ghosting, except slower. Sometimes you don’t cut off all contact, but you gradually disappear from your partner’s life. I kind of get it. You get confused by your feelings. On the one hand, you really appreciate this person. On the other, you don’t wish to share things with them anymore. But I’m here to tell you, regardless of your intentions, that you’re doing it wrong. Fading is okay if you’re figuring stuff out, but it shouldn’t go on for too long, and it sure as hell should be over by the time you get it together and realize you’re 100% sure that you wish to break up.
Via email or text
This is okay if you haven’t been dating for that long. Otherwise, grow up and do it face to face. If you’re in a long-distance relationship, a phone call is best.
@emirespinosa2293
Right after sex
Ok, if you do this, you are a terrible human being. Unless, of course, you made a rash decision to end things if, for some reason, some information was revealed to you while in bed with that person. This is unlikely, though, and there’s no way you could plan to do it. But if you actually do plan it, then yes, you are a horrible person, and no one should date you.
Writing a Letter
Is this even a thing anymore? Well, it just may be that you can’t seem to get the words out, so you think a letter is a good option. It’s not. As hard as it may be for you to break the news, you really need to speak and make it verbally clear that you do not wish to continue this relationship. A letter is a good way to rehearse, or take down notes, but ultimately, you’ll have to break the news as clean and quickly as possible.
@arianagrande
Being honest
There’s a difference between being honest and being brutally honest. Don’t try the latter. You may no longer be physically attracted to your partner. Maybe you found someone else who is “prettier and younger,” or whatever. I would say that, in this case, a white lie is better than the truth. The point of the matter is you want to end the relationship and that’s about as much as you should tell your partner. Anything else will lead them to think something is wrong with them, or worse, they could think it’s because of something they can fix, and you know very well this isn’t the case. So, just spare them the details.
Cheating and then confessing (just to break up)
Are you stupid or something? This is just about the lowest thing you could do. Seriously, a simple “we’re done” would is enough (not that I encourage this exact phrasing). Sometimes people can’t bring themselves to break the news, and it’s as if they needed a huge reason to break up. That’s not true at all. Cheating sucks, but doing it to break up is stupid. Come on!
In public
Many people favor the face-to-face break up and go as far as calling it the only humane, commonsensical method of breaking up with someone. That much is true. However, if I may clarify, doing it in public completely defeats the purpose of aiming for decency. It’s not that it’s wrong. But think about the trouble you are going to go through, and the trouble you’ll make the other person go through if you specifically ask them to meet in a public spot. A coffee shop, for instance. You’ll awkwardly wait to meet up, be seated, order some caramel frapuccino nonsense, wait for them to bring it while you make small talk about whether or not you should order a muffin, finish it, and wait for the check, all while anticipating the moment of truth. Then, of course, once you call it quits, you’ll be making the other person to really hold it together until they get to a safe place, and that’s IF they actually hold it together. What if they make a scene? Or what if they don’t, but everyone still knows what’s going on anyway and stares at you the whole time? Is it really worth it?
@pinaeapplebabves
If after reading this, you’re still confused about how to go about breaking up with someone, here’s the bullet proof method: meet up with them at their home, break the news quickly, say some nice things, don’t leave room for reconciliation (if you’re doing this, you better be sure you want to break up), and maybe hug it out. Then, leave, so they can go somewhere they feel comfortably alone and begin the grieving process. They’ll thank you later, trust me.
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